US Forces at Guantanemo Bay have been using some pretty low-down tricks: urinating on the Koran, getting prisoners to bark like a dog, dripping water on their heads, putting their naked body in all sorts of poses, and now even stooping to playing them Christina Aguilera. The torturous techniques have resulted in some confusing testimony. […]
Author: Wok and Mat
Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.
The Age wants you to pay for this one too, the bastards Unemployed men in Germany are being offered a 20 per cent discount at a Dresden brothel. Just bring in proof of being on the dole for two years to collect the discount. Two-year-old unwashed dishes qualify. Worried about the apparent discrimination of the […]
At last, a story with a link: Boomers keep toy trains on a roll More than three-quarters of the world’s model train sales are thanks to adult collectors… because kids these days are more interested in things like excitement and fun. Microsoft are releasing a new model train simulation to try to recapture the kids’ […]
In our modern society, where we have smaller backyards and no time to walk the dog, chickens are becoming increasingly popular as pets. “They lay eggs and they are a fantastic garbage disposal unit,” said vet Dr Anne Fowler. “And they’re one of the few pets that really roast well.” It’s less wasteful. Instead of […]
A Florida woman pulled a gun on her TV repairman, telling him: “You’re not leaving until the TV is fixed.” She was going to see Survivor one way or another… She was said to have been inspired by Desperate Housewives… I can understand why TV would drive you to that. You wouldn’t want to miss […]
This article from the Sydney Morning Herald requires you to pay to order it online. Screw that, they’re not getting my link. The government’s industrial relations reform is heavily grounded in Christian ethics, says devoutly Catholic Minister for Workplace Relations, Kevin Andrews. Surely you remember Christ’s famous “Blessed are the employers with less than 100 […]
A new UK website offers you the chance to have dinner with washed up pop stars and comedians. For a fee of between 300 and 5000 pounds, Supper With The Stars will send around one of their list of semi-stars to liven up your dinner party. And after dinner they sing karaoke to all of […]
Tests on experimental drug hold out the promise of a clever pill says the Sydney Morning Herald about a new drug called ampakine. We say: It’s going to make medical exams a lot less gruelling. In fact the main assessment will just be based on which pill you’ve prescribed yourself. I actually ordered a pack […]
Some understandably unused gags about an Age article related to this one: Dockers find humour in Hasselhoff hoax Hasslehoff is just who the Dockers need on their forward line. KITT could be coach. The cybervandals were going to use KITT but couldn’t fit the guernsey on… I’m looking forward to when they start replacing all […]
Some Holt & Blackwell authored material for the trophy segment cut from The Glass House re: a Sydney Morning Herald article “Fitting the Part”. Iraqis living in America are being hired by the US Army to play insurgents and protesters in a new training program that aims to prepare troops for the war zone. They’re […]