The infamous outlaw Bandidos Motorcycle Club is selling T-shirts for kids as young as eight. They also stock miniature Harleys, small plastic knives, tiny little bags of speed. / bags of speed in “fun size”.
The infamous outlaw Bandidos Motorcycle Club is selling T-shirts for kids as young as eight. They also offer stick-on tattoos which can’t be removed.
And, if you pay a little extra, you also get a fake beard, a few transfer tattoos, and a little bag of Wizz Fizz.
Perfect for your Bandido Bambino.
The perfect shirt to go with your hotted-up tricycle. / low-rider trike.
The website stresses that members should seek revenge if another member steals “money or women” from them. Although, for the kiddies, they’ve changed it to “money, women, or pokemon”. / marbles”. / play lunch.”
The same website advocates violence against civilians and threatens revenge on any club member who robs a fellow brother of money, women or chewie. / lollies. / swap-cards. / tazos.
According to the article, the website contains “many sinister messages that clearly imply they will assault civilians”. Bikie gangs involved in violence? Preposterous.
According to the article, the website contains “many sinister messages that clearly imply they will assault civilians”. Subtle things, like, “if you mess with us we’ll kill you”.
Their web site promises that “Our Colours Don’t Run!” So it’s safe to wash the T-shirts with your Junior Klansman hood.
Their web site promises that “Our Colours Don’t Run!” Unlike their enemies.
They wanted something for all the little children riding around on their bikes, playing silly games, getting into fights, and chucking tantrums – so they formed the Bandidos. (this one will get us all killed.)
Just like the bikie gang themselves, the T-shirts are good quality, though they do have a tendency to split.
Just like the bikie gang themselves, the T-shirts are tough, long-lasting, and 30% hemp.
What a terrible influence on the littlies! Oh for the days when children would just be playing sweet innocent games, like cops and robbers, cowboys and indians, or British Bulldogs. / or brandy. / or “let’s bash that little freak Paul”.
The website also encourages such violent acts as nipple cripples, birthday bashings, and something called an ‘atomic wedgie’. / ‘Chinese Burn’.
And if you think a Chinese Burn’s bad, you should feel the Bandido-endorsed Mexican Burn. It’s third degree. / It’s the same as the Chinese Burn, but afterwards they set you on fire.
It’s a great way to mark your kids out as targets at the airport. / It’s a great way to get your child beaten to death with a metal bollard!
Eight-year-olds – the only bikies with spokie-dokies. / They’re just trying to appeal to spokie-dokie-bikies.
The T-shirts fit kids as young as 8 – a perfect gift if they already have the junior knuckle-dusters. / a great gift for those fresh out of knuckle-dusters. / to go with their knuckledusters and stash of speed.
The t-shirts also come with a hidden pouch for your stash of amphetamines.
And as well as junior T-shirts they offer knickerbocker-dusters.
Though to order the bullet-proof vest you do have to be 9.
Best of all, if a kid’s wearing a Bandidos shirt, no school bully’s gunna touch ‘em – unless they’re with the Comancheros. / Notorious.
Perfect for BMX Bandits. / BMX Bandidos.
Other clubs have picked up on the idea. Now you can buy your child a lovely al Qaida burkha, a delightful Yakuza motorcycle jacket, or a sturdy set of Sicilian concrete boots. / or a charming red Colombian necktie.
