Johnny Rotten wants to write a song for Britney Spears. It’s called “I’m a drugfucked skanky ho who has to get her songs written by a pratty knob who even in his heyday was a talentless twat”. Ah, it feels so good to say that.
Former Sex Pistol John Lydon has said he wants to write a song for Britney Spears. Or Madonna. Or Gnarls Barkley. Anyone that’s still popular will do.
He swears that he hasn’t sold out. He’s barely sold any at all.
Johnny Rotten wants to write a song for Britney Spears. Just after he finishes his opera.
Johnny Rotten wants to write a song for Britney Spears. As long as she changes that ridiculous stage-name.
Britney was quoted as saying she loved the Sex Pistols, although she didn’t know that they were also a band.
After very public troubles with her marriage, her children and drugs, Lydon’s hoping that by turning her punk he can alienate her few remaining fans.
It’s actually a better match than you’d think. Without the autotune, Britney sounds exactly like Johnny Rotten. / they sound exactly the same.
Lydon was going to suggest he do a duet with Britney, but her producers were afraid that he’d break the autotune.
It makes sense. Britney’s an irresponsible out of control drug addict. She’s practically in the Sex Pistols.
Rotten says that, with her marriage-troubles, problems with her kids, and spiralling drug dependency, Britney pretty much just needs a safety-pin through her nose and she’s ready.
Johnny Rotten and Britney Spears – it’s like the best of manufactured stardom, together at last!
Johnny Rotten and Britney Spears actually have a lot in common. They’re both famous as the result of pop marketing, and they both can’t sing for shit. / They’re both famous as the result of pop marketing, they’re both renowned for their off-stage antics, and they’re both talentless twats who the public has pretty much forgotten.
They’re going to call the project “Rotten Spears”. Yup, it’s going that well.
Lydon was also the former leader of Public Image Limited, which is a pretty accurate description of Britney’s career at the moment.
Lydon was going to suggest Britney cover “Anarchy in the UK”, but those three syllable words would be a bit of a stretch.
Britney is actually going to cover “Anarchy in the UK”, but wants to change “UK” to “USA”, and “anarchy” to “I live”. / and “anarchy” to “born”.
Lydon says that “She has been hurt. And hurt is the root core essence of good music”. And it’s coincidentally also the result of listening to more than two Britney songs in a row.
Lydon says that “She has been hurt. And hurt is the root core essence of good music”. Part of his plan to get Britney to make better music is to slam her fingers in a door. / dunk her in acid.
They’re going to work on a sequel to “Hit Me Baby One More Time”, called “And I’ll Fucking Break Your Face”.
And if Britney says no, Johnny will check whether a root is out of the question.
Just like when Kylie sang with Nick Cave, this could add enormous credibility to the career of the washed-up punk.
Everyone wants to work with Britney these days: Johnny Rotten, Moby, and apparently even some musicians.
Britney’s already known to be a fan of Johnny Rotten. In fact “Toxic” was apparently inspired by his breath.
John Lydon’s partly inspired by Britney’s brushes with the dark side, but he also wants to know what Mickey Mouse is like in real life.
And if there’s one thing that can help you gain respect in mainstream society, it’s singing a song by Johnny Rotten.
It’s all been a big misunderstanding. It’s actually just cockney slang for “I’ve had a coupla beers.”
It’s all been a big misunderstanding. “I want to write a song for Britney Spears” is actually just Cockney rhyming slang for “I won’t be long, so mind me beers.”
