Oxfam Australia is giving Melburnians a chance to experience life in a Third World refugee camp in Albert Park. Visitors will be taken through the daily trials faced by refugees, and will never be allowed out. / before being shipped off to a remote island to live the rest of their days in imprisonment. And who says that Oxfam doesn’t have a sense of humour?
The camp allows visitors to become aware of the harsh realities of refugee life, as well as giving Albert Park residents what they’ve always wanted: to look down on an underclass.
People get to re-enact situations in a refugee’s life. There’s even a game where the government claims you’re not a real refugee because you landed on the wrong island, and just sends you back home to die!
Upon entry, the government takes away your children and locks you up in solitary confinement… and that’s when the fun really starts!
My favourite game is the one where the government tells everyone you’ve thrown your children into the ocean to drown!
My favourite section is the bit where you’re so traumatised that you end up sewing your lips together.
Oxfam says visitors will be asked to step into the shoes of refugees. The refugees themselves have to go barefoot.
Visitors have to survive on rations, build shelters with tarpaulins and bamboo, and collect water from tanks. In fact some country residents are visiting the camp just for the water.
Visitors will have to negotiate with border guards to negotiate passage. They may have to say the right things, talk about bribes, or possibly just give them a blow job.
The pretend refugee camp also gives you a free showbag, which contains: a bill of international rights for the government to throw away; some scenes of horror to indelibly burn into the minds of your children; and a sewing kit for your lips.
Every day one lucky family gets chosen to have their lips sewn together!
Every day one lucky family gets chosen to be sent back where they came from – to die!
John Howard has put his name down to be one of the first visitors. “I can’t wait to throw one of those children into the water!”
Of course you should make sure you have your paperwork in order or they’ll find somewhere to deport you to.
It also acts as a warning not to try to escape to the Third World.
They call it DisneyThirdWorld! Enjoy the fun with Military Mouse and his pet dog Junta!
Visit DisneyThirdWorld! Though watch out for Pluto and Goofy – they bite.
One of the first refugees from Albert Park is the Grand Prix.
Albert Park residents just can’t win – now they have to watch people sewing their mouths shut, after years of sewing their own ears shut for Grand Prix Day.
What a disgrace. Bringing the experience of human misery into an area that should be all about driving cars really fast!
Albert Park residents are blasé about the camp. After a dozen years of the Grand Prix, they’re thoroughly used to human misery.
Volunteer actors play roles such as border guards, and so far relatively few of them have been sadists.
Bookings can be taken by phone, web or people-smuggler.
Oxfam has a similar setup for actual refugees, where for a day they can pretend that they have human rights and dignity.
Of course, some people might accuse Oxfam of wasting all its money creating ludicrous theme-parks instead of actually helping people who need it, and that maybe Oxfam should have a good hard look at itself and re-evaluate its priorities before it ends up a pompous bureaucratic parody of itself with no heart, soul, or value. But I say to those people, shame on you, I’m sure Oxfam is very lovely.
