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Glass House

Pupils ‘should mark teachers’ (The Glass House 10/8/05)

Democrats leader Lyn Allison has suggested that just as teachers grade students, high school students should in turn mark teachers. A typical report will read “D-minus – seems to know the subject but didn’t hand in one piece of homework”. A typical report will read “D-minus – Hangs around the front acting like a know-it-all”. […]

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Glass House

Public reject Clones (The Glass House 10/8/05)

A new survey shows that, while a majority of Australians support stem cell research and gene therapy, they are opposed to human cloning and social engineering. We prefer anti-social engineering – which explains a lot about the behaviour of engineering students. As well as being opposed to clones, many Australians are also very disturbed by […]

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Glass House

Black Hawk Howard while Janette acts as decoy (The Glass House 3/8/05)

The second part of this story on last night’s Glass House is about this article. P.M. John Howard’s visit to Baghdad was a top secret mission, flying by C-130 Hercules from Kuwait to Baghdad and then by Black Hawk helicopter into the maximum-security Green Zone, flanked at all times by US Army choppers. Howard is […]

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Glass House

Don’t Breastfeed At The Gym (The Glass House 3/8/05)

Club Pink, a female-only gym, is being taken to court for having a no breastfeeding policy. However, breastfeeding mothers are still welcome down the road at Club Red, the Men’s Gym. In fact, they’re one of the biggest drawcards. Daily shows at 11 and 3. “Come along to our gym,” said Trevor Titsout, owner of […]

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Glass House

Pope not dead, but goal still missed (The Glass House 3/8/05)

A New Zealand rugby semi-final was interrupted by a rogue announcer putting off a member of the Catholic Rugby Club by announcing that the Pope had died in a car crash. Their next shot at goal was interrupted by an announcement that “There is no God” and a penalty was missed when it was announced […]

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Glass House

Trophy: Families face body searches (The Glass House Double-glazed 20/7/05)

Police are frisking the families of the Bali Nine for hidden microphones and cameras during police visits. Channel Nine are said to have described a number of the families as “mike mules”. In fact, Mike Munro’s Mike Mules. The family members are going to be strictly forbidden from smuggling in cameras and microphones. Looks like […]

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Glass House

Burglar stuffed (The Glass House 13/7/05)

Get yer article here. In a classic Homer Simpson moment, a thief was caught trying to escape a Romanian pie shop after eating so many pies that he got stuck in the window. The thief had had a couple of close shaves previously, barely managing to stagger out of a liquor store he’d knocked over, […]

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Glass House

Court pulls plug on free music (The Glass House 13/7/05)

In a victory for the music industry, the US Supreme Court has ruled against online file-serving services Grokster and Morpheus for encouraging illegal downloading of songs. Regardless of whether or not the musicians themselves agree, the court considers that the online services encourage music piracy. But are file sharers really pirates? After all, the file […]

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Glass House

Curing jet lag (The Glass House 13/7/05)

This is the sort of article that the information below refers to. British Airways have begun a new study into solving the old problem of jet-lag. They’re hoping to encourage people’s body clocks to adjust to different time zones via the use of adjusted sleep patterns. When you’re supposed to be awake, stewardesses walk up […]

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Glass House

The Warnes’ ‘best of friends’ wish may prove an impossible dream (The Glass House 6/7/05)

The Age wants cash for this article too. You’ll get the gist. A number of high profile celebrities, including Shane Warne and Elle Macpherson, have recently split up but claim that they remain “the best of friends” with their former partners. Though apparently Warnie can have a lot of best friends. Relationship specialists say it […]