Studies of Phar Lap’s hair revealing arsenic has resulted in a new theory that he died when he was innocently fed a toxic cocktail of arsenic and strychnine by his trainers. I know whenever I’m thirsty, I always reach for the arsenic and strychnine – mmm… refreshing! The arsenic tonic was to enhance Phar Lap’s […]
Category: Glass House
CLIMATE CHANGE… YES I HAVE HEARD OF THAT COME TO THINK OF IT All aboard the climate change bandwagon! With not even enough rain to drown Al Gore in, even the Federal Government have had to admit that the planet does seem to be getting a little drier, and so have launched the world’s biggest […]
Social researcher Bernard Salt says that work has become “like some sick oozy liquid monster sliding into every space in our lives”. I reckon he should change jobs. Remind me not to get into social research. If he hates his job so much, the book is probably just 300 pages of him whinging. Work is […]
A new scientific study into the nature of kissing has revealed that it dates back at least 100 million years, when our ancestors used to secrete a pheremone and pass it on by direct contact to reveal their gender. Remember, these were the days before bikinis and budgie smugglers. / Well, it was more than […]
Research shows that Australia’s artists have levels of anxiety, tension and insomnia well in excess of the general population. For some reason having no job security, poor working conditions and being constantly told that they’re talentless hacks brings about anxiety. But people just don’t understand how stressful it is to paint a red square on […]
The Internet, home of genius ideas, has a new one – the Terror Prevention Pen. Each pen sold from “Infidel’s Revenge” contains pig’s blood, so any suicide bomber blowing you up gets covered with pig’s blood – damning their soul for eternity. It’s so convenient – at last, you can stop lugging that pig around. […]
The US Department of Homeland Security is developing software to monitor negative opinions of the US or its leaders in overseas media, in order to identify potential threats. Great. Now the US will invade you if you have WMDs – Words of Much Disliking. The software looks for patterns from numerous sources of information that […]
An Italian TV satire program sprung a surprise hidden drug test on the country’s parliamentarians – and found that 16 out of 50 had taken cocaine or cannabis in the last 36 hours. It’s a slightly misleading statistic as the tests were conducted the day after “Pollies Week”. The program told the pollies that they […]
IRAQ TILL 2010 John Howard has suggested Australian troops will be in Iraq until at least 2010. You remember his promise that we’d be there “months, not years”. Yeah, hundreds of months. Howard said that if we pull out there’ll be “chaos and carnage”. But if we stay, there’ll only be a couple of hundred […]