Saudi Arabia are building a 900 kilometre high-tech fence all the way along their border with Iraq. The wall includes large sand barriers, two barbed wire fences, a pyramid of barbed wire in the middle of 33 metres of sand dotted with underground motion sensors, and a sign that says “Beware of the Dog”. It’s […]
Category: Glass House
Jamaah Islamiah’s spiritual leader Abu Bakar Bashir has said that naked women are more dangerous than the Bali bombings. If he’d had his way, the Bali bombers would have just packed the Sari Club with hot nude chicks – that’d teach the Western infidels a thing or two! The Sari Club was full of scantily-clad […]
A British study suggests that thieves should be classed as expert professionals alongside surgeons and pilots, because they performed complicated tasks automatically and with a high degree of skill. I agree, burglars would make great surgeons – who can forget the Great Tumour Heist of 98? I think some burglars are already surgeons; remember when […]
German boxing champion Arthur Abraham of Armenia faces legal action if he continues to wear a Smurf hat and enter the ring to Smurf music. A spokesmurf said, “This smurf can’t just smurf around smurfing like he smurfs the smurf! It’s a smurfing smurf for smurfing out smurf!” At least, they think he’s going to […]
A flight from Samoa to Sydney was delayed last week when ground staff asked the passengers whether anybody had left a baby girl in the departure lounge. The forgetful parents claimed her. “To be honest, I’d forgotten we even had a child.” It was an understandable mistake; they’d just bought a new daughter duty-free. The […]
JOHNNY’S SHARED VALUES John Howard says that we can only beat terrorism if all Australians have “shared values”. That’s “shearing shared values”. / Although he may have said “shed values”. Like cursing the old swagger with a bare bellied yo. Howard and Beazley certainly share values – well, at least they’re sharing the word “values”. […]
NSW Opposition Leader Peter Debnam has pledged to introduce laws so that Ministers who underperform will be docked $55,000. Of course they plan to repeal it if they actually win Government… Ministers will have their pay heavily reduced unless they can demonstrate they’ve stacked at least one branch, accepted their minimum amount of kickbacks, and […]
Tim Freedman of The Whitlams has boycotted playing for Australian troops in Iraq. Shame, really – he could have rewritten “Blow Up The Pokies” as “Blow Up Iraqis”. Freedman was asked but decided not to go because he didn’t agree with the war. Besides which, not one Whitlams album has even charted in Iraq. As […]
A new study of six to twelve year olds has found that their top fears now include bombs and terrorists, which wasn’t the case 20 years ago. Probably the same with adults come to think of it. Even in a world of terrorists and warfare though, kids are still most scared of being hit by […]
Categories
Cow accents (The Glass House 4/10/06)
Irish farmers are claiming cows have accents, causing debate at the “World’s Most Beautiful Cow” contest. Farmers say most people can’t hear the accents, but they herd them clearly… herd, geddit? It’s obvious isn’t it? Irish cows go “Moo”, whereas English cows go “Moo”. Couldn’t be more different. There are several distinct cow accents here […]