– “Let the madness commence!” – Slow and steady wins the race… – Bush blows a whistle to announce the appointment of the new US Defence Minister. – Dick Cheney finally gets a turn in the bunny suit. – Flopsy Cottontail – the next governor of Texas. – Osama bin Laden really is the master […]
Category: Glass House
ASYLUM-SEEKER HOUSING IS TOPS Amanda Vanstone claims new accommodation at Villawood Detention Centre is better housing than many Australians enjoy. Yes – and they’re all indigenous people. / Which just goes to show how bad indigenous housing really is. “I mean, you’ve got security, you’ve got people to cook and clean for you; and just […]
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Mel Cartman (The Glass House 9/8/06)
South Park‘s Cartman and Mel Gibson share identical views on Jews starting wars. There’s a simple explanation for this whole thing. When Mel gets drunk he likes to impersonate Cartman. It’s just that the media haven’t seized on the comments about his mum being a crackwhore. After being released on bail, Mel told the officers […]
South Australian Family First MP Dennis Hood has said that if the Government failed to introduce legislation to drug-test MPs, then he would. He’s got one vote already! Hood’s ploy is a cunning Catch 22. If any politicians vote against the bill, he can accuse them of being paranoid! And everyone knows that’s a sure […]
An American woman is suing her parents for $183,000 after slipping on their path and breaking her ankle. Lucky it wasn’t her good ankle. Imagine how much she’d be suing for if she’d died. She’s hoping that the $183,000 might be enough to buy herself a heart. Carriel Louah slipped on her parents’ icy path […]
A lonely Russian farmer has asked President Putin to allow him to marry a cow. It seems world leaders must be softening on their stance towards inter-species marriage. So long as it’s not gay. “I’ve always dreamed of marrying someone, milking them every morning, and finally eating them in pepper sauce. But none of the […]
A New Zealand Christian group has urged parents to smack their naughty children for up to 15 minutes a day. Regardless of what they’ve done – it’s just fun! Smacking a child for 15 minutes rids them of “sin in the heart”, as well as being plain old fun! Beat the sin out of them! […]
Oprah Winfrey has stated that despite rumours to the contrary she is definitely not gay. Of course she’s not gay – she just broke up with her boyfriend of 20 years! She left him because he wouldn’t commit – to the sex change operation… Oprah and her best friend of 30 years, Gayle King, say […]
PETER COSTELLO’S SCHOOLBOY LARKING Peter Costello admits he was a bit of a larrikin at school, always doing his homework in the last hour before it was due. And to be honest, he copied that last Budget off the guy sitting next to him. Costello admitted he finds it difficult to plan in advance. Shame […]
Respectable newspapers across America have published the word “shit” for the first time after George W Bush was caught saying it to Tony Blair at the G8 summit. Respectable parents are dismayed that the New York Times would publish such a filthy word, which is usually only heard in ghettos, bad neighbourhoods and G8 summits. […]