Category: Glass House

Veterans’ Affairs Minister Bruce Billson has said that former prisoners from Nazi prison camps have been undermined by Hogan’s Heroes. The RSL National President agreed that imprisonment under the Germans was not like being at “some holiday camp”. It was more like a really tough study camp. That’s why they were called “concentration” camps… Hah! […]

George Dubya Bush has been ranked a 200-to-1 outsider for the Nobel Peace Prize. It’s not fair – that’s better odds than I’ve got, and I haven’t invaded anyone! Well, not recently… I’m surprised the odds are so bad – after all, no-one’s more peaceful than when they’ve been clusterbombed to death! George Dubya Bush […]

Australia post have withdrawn a set of stamps featuring red-back spiders due to fears that people might get scared when they get their mail. It also would have provided an excellent hiding spot for real red-backs. It’s a shame really; it would have been great down at the arachnophobic Post Office: “AAAARRRRGGGGH! (postmark violently on […]

New research reveals an increasing trend among Aussie women to get drunk in public, swear and go to the footy. Although it can make it tough to tell if a woman’s pregnant – that might just be her beer gut. These post-feminist women have been dubbed “ockerettes”. No longer confined by feminine stereotypes, the ockerettes […]

– Kim Beazley squeezes the world’s biggest zit – his head. – “Sure I’ve got a ticker – it’s this bit here, isn’t it?” – Kim Beazley tries out his new stand-up comedy routine: “If you punched me here, I’d be the Opposition Bleeder! Eh? Eh?” – “Hey voters! Here I am!” – “Look! I […]

HOWARD CONVICTING HICKS David Hicks has written to John Howard, describing himself as a “true blue Aussie”, who’s “determined to fit back into society and be a model citizen.” After four and a half years in Guantanamo, Hicks is so desperate to leave that he’s even offered to vote for Johnny. David Hicks has written […]

The IR laws continue to cause a stink, with 21 year old mining worker Lorissa Stevens being sacked for refusing to sign an AWA. The mining company’s furious – if only she’d signed the AWA, they could have sacked her for no reason instead… She was sacked from the mining job, which means her chances […]

The Liberal Party and the ALP have joined forces to teach our Pacific neighbours the noble art of democracy. Sign up for The Global Democracy Program and you could turn your bombing and looting villagers into Parliamentarians! The program is aimed at the islands in what the Government calls the “arc of instability”. They’re aiming […]

Russian tennis-ball-hitting-person Dmitry Tursunov faces a large fine and possibly suspension after a series of attacks on umpire Fergus Murphy: clubbing the ball at his chair, trying to pull him out of the chair when shaking the ump’s hand, and later comparing him to Saddam Hussein. But at least he’s not a sore loser. At […]