A new $51 billion Defence spending plan includes $50 million earmarked for psychological warfare. The other $50.95 billion is being spent on regular bombing-the-shit-out-of-people warfare. One psychological technique being advocated involves putting your gun away, and giving your enemy a cupcake. Who could resist? The psychological warfare includes propaganda and media control. Which strangely enough […]
Category: Glass House
Channel Seven and the Australian Olympic Committee are up in arms about plans to hold the swimming events at the Beijing Olympics in the morning to allow them to be screened in American prime time. But they shouldn’t worry about the ratings dropping; as the World Cup is proving, Australians are always happy to pull […]
A global politeness survey has found that Sydney ranks among the rudest cities of the 35 surveyed, well below cities like New York, Paris and Auckland. Yeah, well those dickslaps can get rooted. Anyone who thinks Sydney is rude can go and get farked. Sydney is in general much ruder than other cities due to […]
Buddhist monk patriarch Non Nget has warned Cambodia’s 40,000 Buddhist monks that they risk being defrocked if they make noise or cheer during the World Cup. Lucky Cambodia didn’t qualify and they can remain neutral. Buddhist monks traditionally lead a life of quiet contemplation, which is ideal preparation for sitting out a nil-all draw. (calm […]
IMMIGANTS STAY AWAY It’s an all-in brawl amongst the Libs over whether or not to process asylum seekers on Nauru. Wilson Tuckey was disgusted that some of his colleagues might want “people from all over the world” living in their street. They like to keep it nice and pure over there in White Supremacist Avenue. […]
The trailer for the new movie Superman Returns has inspired a lot of talk about the parallels between Superman and Jesus Christ. If only Pontius Pilate had’ve stocked up on kryptonite he could’ve avoided that tedious crucifixion… The similarities abound: – He can only be killed by crucifixionite, – His enemy is Lex Lucifor, and […]
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Heaveno (The Glass House 21/6/06)
An American Christian group has decided the word ‘hello’ is a Satanic greeting, and has launched a campaign to replace it with the more Godly ‘Heaveno’. They’re also replacing ‘Goodbye’ with ‘Godbewithyou’ and ‘How you doing?’ with ‘All praise the Lord Almighty, Hallelujah you doing.’ ‘Hello’ will be ‘heaveno’, shells will be ‘sheavens’, and ‘devilled […]
Bob the Builder is being used to promote home insulation as a weapon against climate change at a European energy ministers meeting. At last they’re putting climate change in language that even politicians can understand! The move represented an acknowledgement of the severity of the climate change predicament. As the British Energy Minister said, “We […]
The shooting of a new sex scene featuring Halle Berry and Bruce Willis is said to be lacking just one thing – Bruce Willis. Berry had to writhe around solo while a tape of Willis’ voice was played; Bruce will be spliced into the scene later via computer. Apparently Willis “couldn’t make the shoot”. Now […]
A German radio DJ, Lady Ray, has been sacked for dressing too sexily on air. Fair enough too. I mean short skirts are one thing but actually dressing on air is going too far. She should have taken a leaf out of Aussie radio’s book, and been undressing on air. Her radio career’s over but […]