It’s small, hard, you can slide your hand along to make it bigger, and the Pope doesn’t want you touching it. That’s right – it’s a mobile phone. Monsignor Benito Cocchi has called on the faithful to avoid modern modes of communication for Lent. Not telephones of course, God’s cool with any communication devices pre-1980. […]
Category: Good News Week
American politicians opposed to the death penalty are arguing that it should be abolished to cut costs. And some sort of gobbledygook about “human rights”, “valuing life”, blah blah blah. American politicians opposed to the death penalty are arguing that it should be abolished to cut costs. Because what other argument could there be? / […]
A 12-year-old Hong Kong schoolboy posted naked pictures of himself online and offered to be a prostitute to females between the ages of 10 and 45. He just knows that female paedophile market remains mostly untapped. The boy, calling himself Little Leung, described himself as a Christian and offered to make love for $144. Unfortunately, […]
Tues, March 17 And tomorrow, once again the footpaths will be green with vomit for St. Patrick’s Day! St. Patrick’s Day will see green beer, brewed entirely from renewable energy and old-growth forests. Unfortunately, tomorrow’s Telstra Australian Swimming Championships will be put on hold. The Telstra Australian Swimming Championships in Sydney – which is just […]
This year’s 51st Logie Awards will face budget cuts and a trimmed invite list. Unfortunately it seems there’s no chance of losing Richard Wilkins. / Please let it be Richard Wilkins… Celebrities at the Logies can expect to party til the break of 9:30. Two event companies have been briefed to bid for the event […]
The credit crunch is hitting home so hard that even Australian 6-year-olds are raising concerns. It’s even worse in America, where 6-year-olds have had to default on their mortgages. Many kids are now imitating their dads: climbing to the top of the cubbyhouse and jumping off. Several kids have had their pocket money cut, and […]
Obamamania has swept America, not just in terms of miles of merchandise, but also through corporations co-opting his image and slogans. Because change may have come to America, but not to the point where they’ll stop trading in tacky rip-offs. With the similarity of their logo to Obama’s, Pepsi co-opted slogans such as “Choose Change”, […]
Abu Ghraib prison has been given a makeover! At last the grim horror of prison life is torture-free! They’ve given it fresh paint, a new name, and they’ve even scrubbed the electrodes clean. / fed the dogs. They’ve renamed the prison, and given it a total makeover. They’re also going to put lipstick on the […]
Sad news: Michael Jackson’s auctioning off the entire contents of his ranch, Neverland. Or as it’s now known, Never-to-be-repeated-land. Jackson’s even selling his famous diamond-encrusted glove for $15,000. Though unfortunately if you want the other glove, Michael’s still not sure where he left it. (He thinks it’s the same place he left his face.) Now […]
And now for some stand-up comedy. A survey of Australian aeroplane travellers has revealed that a small number are willing to stand for cheaper international flights. Which is good – there’s all that space on the wings that is going begging. As long as flights are cheaper, passengers are happy to have less. Some wanted […]