Due to drought and climate change, the AFL and Cricket Australia are looking for a new kind of turf that both sports can be played on. The most likely so far is something they’re calling “dirt”. / “dead grass”. The best surface for playing cricket on so far is something scientists are calling “the driveway”. […]
Category: Good News Week
A study has dubbed 4 percent of Americans “carborexics”: people who take their green attitudes to an obsessive compulsive degree. Copies of the study are now available wherever Hummers are sold. So-called “carborexics” or “dark greens” factor carbon emissions into everything they do. Which, admittedly, is very little. Okay, so these people are “carborexic”. But […]
Scientists are working on a flying car! Or as they are calling it, a “plane”. / “the futuremobilicopter.” Awesome name. / “Chitty chitty bang bang”. It’s a great idea to make our cars go up and down. Because we’re not just having enough car accidents dealing with just forward and back and left and right. […]
A British man had his catering business closed down when he was discovered making kebabs next to the dead body of a staff member. The charges would have been much more serious, but he hadn’t got him on the spit yet. The body was in a very bad way. But you should’ve seen what happened […]
A new political party has formed in opposition to the proposed Internet filter. They’re called the Australian Sex Party, which sounds a little less crass than the Australian Orgy. They’re the only party who loves it when the dollar goes down on them. / who goes down with the dollar. And, as the dollar continues […]
Just when everyone thought it was all over, yet another dismembered foot has been discovered on Canada’s beaches. Authorities are now thinking that maybe it’s a pod of extremely small whales beaching themselves after a sneaker-themed fancy-dress party. The authorities are stumped. In Canada, a seventh severed foot has washed up on the beach. These […]
Tues, Nov. 25 On Tuesday, the inquiry into junk food advertising will report in Canberra. The report will be very entertaining, but everyone wil feel a bit sick afterwards. / The report will start off really well but about halfway through everyone will start to feel a bit queasy. On Tuesday, the inquiry into junk […]
The ugly Australian refuses to die, with over 1300 Aussies being arrested or imprisoned overseas each year. Which is great for keeping local crime rates down. 1300 Australian travellers were arrested or imprisoned in one year, according to new statistics. Who would’ve expected that from a nation founded by convicts? 1300 Australian travellers were arrested […]
Kevin Rudd and Malcolm Turnbull have both rejected calls to change or abandon the recitation of the Lord’s Prayer at the beginning of each day of Parliament. The Lord was unavailable for comment. Kevin Rudd and Malcolm Turnbull have both rejected calls to abandon the Lord’s Prayer at the beginning of each day of Parliament. […]
The Government plans to introduce a compulsory amenities and services fee of up to $250 for Uni students, but says it isn’t a reintroduction of compulsory student unionism. It’s more like compulsory student taxation. / robbery. If the ALP want the Opposition to support it, they should call it “Student Tax”. If there’s one group […]