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Good News Week

Aussies Destroy Planet (Good News Week 10/11/08: What’s the Story?)

A new report confirms that Australians have an enormous ecological footprint. But then we do have such enormous ecological feet. / We need to take off our ecological Blundstones and put on our ecological thongs – or just go ecologically barefoot. Australia is ranked fifth worst in the world in terms of our ecological damage. […]

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Good News Week

Rudd tries to make Bush look stupider than he is (Good News Week 10/11/08: What’s the Story?)

Kevin Rudd has ended up with vovo on his face after a report that George Bush asked him “What’s the G20?” in a phone call ended up to be somewhat of an exaggeration. Rudd hosed down the suggestion that the leak would make other world leaders wary of speaking with him, saying that they all […]

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Good News Week

Become a politician? Are you MAAAAD? (Good News Week 10/11/08: A Thousand Words)

The UK is set to repeal a 450-year-old law barring lunatics and idiots from entering parliament. And at long last the Monster Raving Loony Party will have their day! For the last 450 years, lunatics and idiots have been forbidden from standing for the British Parliament, and have had to remain in the House of […]

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Good News Week

Anybody seen a beach? (Good News Week 10/11/08: Strange But True)

In Jamaica, thieves have stolen a beach. Jamaica Beach? Nah mon, someone stole the sand. Jamaica has suffered an unusual theft – they’ve lost an entire beach. Hundreds of tonnes of sand has been stolen from a resort, and, three months later, authorities still have no clues – and no sand. Their only lead is […]

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Good News Week

Interdimensional marriage (Good News Week 10/11/08: Strange But True)

A Japanese man is hoping to get a million signatures on a petition to establish a law allowing people to marry cartoon characters. Though not cartoon animals – that would be weird. But it raises all sorts of issues. Can he marry Minnie Mouse? Does she have to divorce Mickey first? And does that qualify […]

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Good News Week

Good Next Week (Good News Week 10/11/08: closing)

Tues, Nov. 11 Tomorrow we’ll celebrate the 33rd anniversary of the day Gough Whitlam was given the sack. But for some reason, the day he was given the egg and spoon still remains uncommemorated. Tomorrow is the 90th Remembrance Day. Not sure what that’s about. Tomorrow is the 128th anniversary of Ned Kelly’s hanging. Surely […]

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Good News Week

Zinc your number (Good News Week 3/11/08: monologue)

Five 14 and 15 year old girls caused a stir on Cronulla beach when they painted their mobile phone numbers on their backs in zinc cream. That way they could give out their number, but without having guys perve on their breasts. / That way they could give their mobile number out to any guy. […]

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Good News Week

Walking, talking cameras (Good News Week 3/11/08: monologue)

Ipswich City Council are installing portable security cameras with built-in loudspeakers to warn troublemakers. Because a talking camera is a far better deterrent than a real live policeman. Ipswich City Council are installing portable security cameras with built-in loudspeakers to warn troublemakers. Well. They’re not going to get vandalised, are they. Ipswich City Council are […]

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Good News Week

Obama billboard (Good News Week 3/11/08: monologue)

An anonymous anti-Barack Obama billboard has caused controversy in Missouri. I don’t see what’s racist about it. I mean, he is black. And he possibly does have a head injury. The head-wrap isn’t meant to imply that he’s a Muslim, just that he has some sort of severe brain injury. I liked Obama best when […]

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Good News Week

Shock tactics (Good News Week 3/11/08: What’s the Story?)

Cops all over the country are going taser crazy! The introduction of tasers by New South Wales police has caused the use of force to suddenly spike. And zap. Critics are concerned that it might indicate a new culture of police violence, but police insist that it’s just a tase… / just a tase they’re […]