Mon, August 04 Barack Obama turns 47. There’s no way he can be senile enough to be President. It’s 150 years since first game of Aussie rules, and 149 years since they decided it would be even better with a ball. / though back then it was more like Aussie no-rules. Tues, August 05 Tomorrow, […]
Category: Good News Week
And the big news? Sharks! Friendly, lovable, cuddly sharks! The papers have been full of feel-good stories about the terror of the deep. For instance there was this shark that we humans saved… That’s the last time he’ll be swallowing a poledancer. They only had two choices really – either save the shark and pull […]
The government is launching a new advertising campaign to promote awareness of their Carbon Pollution Reduction Scheme. Of course like all government advertising, the ads are 100% content-free. The Government has just launched its new emissions-trading information campaign. It’s a picture of a tree with the words “Emissions Trading Is Good”. Clearly the government has […]
A report has been released showing that Australian women are still subject to sexism and harassment, 25 years after such behaviour was outlawed. Sex Discrimination Commissioner Elizabeth Broderick will hand down the report just as soon as she’s done with the ironing. Well, that’s what you get if you let a woman become Sex Discrimination […]
The author of a new book on Batman estimates the cost of being a real-life Batman would be 308 million dollars. Though you could be Robin for a couple of thou. To be a real-life Batman, you’d need to be one of the world’s richest people. Or a master criminal! Lucky he’s actually multimillionaire Bruce […]
US Presidential candidate John McCain has admitted he never uses email and has to be shown websites. In fact he doesn’t even own a computator. / one of those adding machines. He says he doesn’t use the internet. In fact, he gave up interfishing years ago. It’s no big deal. The current president can’t even […]
In the UK, a Star Wars fan watched Revenge of the Sith instead of having a general anaesthetic during a double knee joint-replacement operation. Because when you see Anakin Skywalker burnt to a crisp after losing both legs and an arm, a bit of a dicky knee doesn’t seem so bad after all. Watching the […]
British high school girls who have been wolf-whistling at construction workers have been warned to stop. See, it starts with school girls showing a bit of plumbers’ crack, and look where it ends. British high school girls who have been wolf-whistling at construction workers have been warned to stop. And you can see the footage […]
A survey showing that Australian films were too depressing for audiences has been released by the Film Finance Corporation, just weeks prior to it being amalgamated into Screen Australia. If only it had had a happy ending. Australian films are too depressing to draw crowds. But no wonder Aussie filmmakers are depressed – have you […]
Gympie police frantically smashed car windows to rescue a seemingly unconscious baby, only to discover it was an extremely lifelike doll. They were so frustrated they arrested the baby whose doll it was. Gympie police frantically smashed car windows to rescue a seemingly unconscious baby, only to discover it was an extremely lifelike doll. So […]