Authorities are thinking of introducing tougher measures to prevent petrol “drive-offs”, including pre-paying for all petrol or even introducing road spikes at service stations. The spikes would cost a lot to install, but you not only get all your petrol paid for, you also sell a hell of a lot more tyres. Petrol stations are […]
Category: Good News Week
George W Bush is making a renewed effort to catch Osama bin Laden before leaving office. Come on, surely he doesn’t still believe bin Laden is real. George W Bush is making a renewed effort to catch Osama bin Laden before leaving office. Because, otherwise all he leaves history is an unwinnable war and a […]
Brokeback Mountain is being adapted into musical form. As if it wasn’t gay enough. / It just wasn’t gay enough. Because the one complaint that the homosexual lobby had with the film version was that you couldn’t sing along. Because the unspoken bond that develops between two strong silent types will sound just fabulous in […]
In Hornsby, fire rescue officers were called to the hospital to help remove 16 steel washers from a man’s penis. Ah, so that’s what washers are for. He’s obviously desperate for a screw. He had 16 steel washers removed from his penis. But he asked that they leave the rivets in his nutsack. / leave […]
The New Zealand cricket team have unveiled their latest secret weapon: wonderpants! Cricket is such a cool sport. The “micro-shine” trousers are believed to contain a patch of fabric which helps the Kiwis shine the ball. They’re pants with built-in swing! The special pants not only help with your swing, they’re also quite useful when […]
Auckland drivers have been caught using blow-up dolls, mannequins and dogs dressed as children to justify driving in transit lanes. Well? The laws only require cars to have three or more occupants – and now they’re getting all pernickety and saying they have to be human. In New Zealand, drivers are using blowup dolls to […]
The ACT government is considering banning fireworks. What? Next they’ll be banning X-rated porn and illicit drugs! It’s unCanberrian! Lucky they’re not banning drugs and porn, or our politicians would have nothing to do! From now on, fireworks in Canberra will be restricted to Question Time. It’s not a good idea to take away our […]
In Canada, the case of the mysterious severed feet in sneakers just keeps getting stranger. Now the total comes to six feet, or, in Australian, just about 2 metres. The feet keep washing up on Canadian shores. We’ve previously told you of three right feet that had been found on island beaches. Well since then […]
A chain of Aussie hair salons is set to offer walk-in, walk-out Botox treatments. So now there’s no more worries about your new haircut revealing unsightly wrinkles! The walk-in botox surgery will be great for people looking for instant beautification, as well as those just desperately in need of muscular paralysis. Fantastic! Now you can […]
Aussie tourism leaders are hoping the new Baz Luhrmann film Australia will attract tourists to our shores in a similar way that the Lord of the Rings trilogy did to New Zealand. They’re CGI-ing in a couple of hobbits just to make sure. Sure, Lord of the Rings showed off New Zealand’s snowy mountain ranges, […]