Kevin Rudd has enshrined ten minimum workplace conditions in place of the WorkChoices legislation. At long last, what we all voted for: WorkNoChoices! / NoChoices! / WorkChoiceless! Rudd refused to say where his ten “workplace commandments” had come from, but the CFMEU apparently had hired a chiseller. Rudd refused to say where his ten “workplace […]
Category: Good News Week
This week sees the swearing in of the new Senate. The Coalition will lose their Senate majority, the Democrats will lose everything and the balance of power will be held by the Greens, Family First and anti-pokie crusader Nick Xenophon. So while the Government won’t necessarily need Coalition approval now, they will instead need to […]
Police in Vancouver are using cardboard replicas of traffic cops pointing radar guns to try to reduce speeding. And if they catch you speeding, they’ll issue you with a ticket – but don’t worry, it’s only a paper one. They look just like real cops, and have better personalities. They look just like real cops, […]
An Israeli rabbi has declared giraffe to be kosher. He was forced to after a day at the zoo when he just couldn’t help himself. An Israeli rabbi has declared giraffe to be kosher. He had to explain all the giraffe-skeletons somehow… Giraffes are Kosher. And delicious. Lucky – you know blintzes are actually mainly […]
Men are being recommended to do pelvic floor exercises to cure impotence. And women are recommended to do them along with the men just in case they cure to the point of conception. The idea is ludicrous. There’s no way men are going to do something called “exercise” when they could just pop a pill. […]
The Australian government is considering changing its terror alert system to one which is specific to particular locations or industries. High-risk industries for terrorism might include transport and politics, and low-risk industries include latex wholesalers, worm-farms and terrorist training schools. / aged care, garbage collection and pig farming. The terrorism alert level has been set […]
The Government continues to ask the public for any ideas on where they should cut funding. I’m thinking we cut a bit more from Government wages, seeing as we’re doing all the work! They’re calling on voters to get involved in the decision-making. Of course, you don’t get paid. And you don’t get to sit […]
Well waddya know. Australia is proud home to the earliest known animal that had sex, a 375 million year old shark-like creature. That’s right, ancient Aussie fish were makin’ whoopee. Although, underwater, it’s more like “whblooblpeebl”. The 375 million year old fossil shows a fish with an embryo and umbilical cord attached. Not only does […]
The Pope’s chief bodyguard has been in Sydney, checking out sites for the Pope’s World Youth Day appearances. The Pope needs a bodyguard – it’s not like he can rely on protection from God. He’s the only bodyguard with an earpiece to God. He prays by earpiece. He’s head of an organisation of burly gents […]
Hungover Japanese workers are turning to an intravenous drip to get them through the workday. It costs as little as 20 bucks for an intravenous pick-me-up, and in fact it’s also the cheapest way to get drunk the night before. Nothing says “hard worker” better than trackmarks. / bruised veins. The Japanese are famous for […]