Islamic women are demanding equal opportunities to become suicide bombers and terrorists, after an al-Qaida leader said they should focus on being housewives. As one said, “If I have to do another load of washing, I’m going to explode!” Osama bin Laden’s right-hand man Ayman al-Zawahiri praised the wives of al-Qaida terrorists, but said their […]
Category: Good News Week
A British research team has discovered a way to overcome baldness by cloning your remaining hair. The technique can also be used to raise a hair army should you have need of one. Now that’s a hair-raising scheme. Their first subject worked wonderfully – he came to a small amount of fame starring on the […]
Embattled British PM Grodon Brown is being remade as a Marvel comic book hero! Look up in the sky? Is it a lame duck? Is it a plain old politician? No, it’s SoonToBeSackedMan! With a name like Gordon Brown, excitement is sure to be just around the corner! / how could he not be a […]
A leading Australian aviation medicine specialist researching what to do with people who die onboard has recommended strapping them in, putting an eye mask over their eyes, earphones on their head and a blanket on them and leaving them to it. Unless it’s the pilot. A leading Australian aviation medicine specialist says that people who […]
A new American documentary sheds light on over 500 people who like to have sex with cars. Not that there’s anything wrong with that – so long as the car is consenting. Not surprisingly, techniques vary widely. Some like to use the exhaust pipe, some the petrol cap, while others aren’t satisfied with anything less […]
Tues, June 17 The organisers of Brisbane Institute’s “Does Money = Happiness?” lecture will be said to be very happy with their takings. The “Does Money = Happiness?” lecture at the Brisbane Institute will kick off with a paper on “Famous Stockbroker Suicides”. / a paper called “‘The Great Depression’ Was Actually Heaps Of Fun.” […]
Qantas and Jetstar have admitted that they’re flying more slowly to conserve fuel in an attempt to contain costs. They’re also saving up heaps of those 4 cents off vouchers. Of course, if they really want to minimise fuel use, they can always get the passengers to all just get out and push. To further […]
Federal MPs may be forced to trade in their luxury Holden Statesmen for green-friendly hybrid Toyota Priuses. Not only will it make the government appear to be personally committed to tackling climate change, but it stops them from getting spat on by Ford barrackers. As further proof of their commitment to reducing greenhouse emissions, from […]
Johnny Rotten wants to write a song for Britney Spears. It’s called “I’m a drugfucked skanky ho who has to get her songs written by a pratty knob who even in his heyday was a talentless twat”. Ah, it feels so good to say that. Former Sex Pistol John Lydon has said he wants to […]
A new advertising campaign is asking Australians to stop eating steak in order to combat global warming. Or if they have to eat steak, make it a solar-powered steak. Every cow produces 300 litres of methane every day. And I thought wind power was supposed to be the solution! So it’s either eat less meat, […]