Mon, June 02 This week sees the UN meeting on climate change, Melbourne’s Going Green expo and World Environment Day. Phew, looks like we’re saved at last. Tues, June 03 Mabo Day will be absolutely mabolous. On Tuesday, the U.S. presidential primaries finish. Hilary will give up golf, but still not the damn campaign. With […]
Category: Good News Week
The Pentagon has released plans to redevelop Iraq’s Green Zone into a $5 billion Golf and Country Club. It’s a contingency plan, just in case peace unexpectedly breaks out and they’ve got to find some other way to waste billions of dollars. Finally a way for Iraqis to spend all their excess disposable cash. / […]
The government is investigating different strategies to combat obesity, including the introduction of a “fruit and vegetables rebate”. Which is a great idea, but turns making a fruit-salad into a fiscal nightmare. / into an accountant’s wet-dream. Now, when someone makes a fruit-salad, it can take a team of accountants weeks to untangle the fiscal […]
In NSW, they’re outlawing children under 16 getting piercings without a note from their parents. Looks like it’s back to the nailgun for the toddlers. / I guess the kiddies will have to go back to self-mutilation. Children under 16 who want piercings will now need parental approval. So there goes that avenue of rebellion. […]
A Toowoomba dress-maker has chased down a stolen dress after two months, by infiltrating high-school-formals. Yes, that’s my excuse too. / Weird, we have the very same reason. / I’m still searching for my missing dress, and I’ll keep infiltrating those prom-nights until I find it. Her and her seamstress went to find the frock, […]
A story this week that sounds like total pig’s arse, but is in fact pig’s bladder. A man in the US has had part of his finger regrown from a compound made from powdered pig’s bladder. It’s good to see scientists have finally found a use for all that powdered pig’s bladder… A US man, […]
And as the dust of the Budget settles over Canberra, we can look at a familiar scene: Rudd’s the new Howard, Nelson’s the new Beazley, and Swan’s the new Costello but with an even sillier face. Any hope we might have had of a Labor government being green has been dashed by a Budget that […]
Researchers say that babies are having their development retarded by watching TV. On the other hand they do learn far more annoying jingles. So it’s a mixed bag. Most parents don’t interact with babies while they’re watching TV. Well what’s the point of TV if you have to keep interacting with the bloody kids? But […]
In the past 12 months, 728 Victorian schools have been granted temporary liquor licenses. It’s great for fund-raising, community spirit, and the Principal’s liquor cabinet. It turns out that the school spirit is whiskey. So that creepy guy hanging around your school is probably your dad on a bender. / the principal. The liquor licenses […]
Australian scientists have successfully transplanted a gene of the extinct Tasmanian Tiger into mouse-embyros, and say that, theoretically, they will one day be able to bring the Thylacine back to life. Because that might distract us from the world going to shit. Great! Now, why exactly did we need Tassie Tigers again? I don’t think […]