A New Zealand man has been found guilty after calling police to falsely claim he was being raped by a wombat. The case was tried in a Kangaroo Court. A New Zealand man has been found guilty after calling police to falsely claim he was being raped by a wombat. In actual fact he’d led […]
Category: Good News Week
Jessica Simpson is performing a concert for US troops, saying “I am in Kuwait, I’m enjoying all the troops having a blast.” She also said she was having a “suicide bombing of a time”. / a “sectarian slaughter of a time”. / it was “da bomb”! / she was just blown away. / it was […]
Keith Richards says the Rolling Stones didn’t just have “boinky-boinky” with their groupies. Sometimes it was “sucky-sucky”, other times “squeezy-squeezy”, and on one notable occasion it was “sharky-sharky”. Or was that Led Zeppelin? It wasn’t just ‘boinky-boinky’ with the groupies. Sometimes they had sex. It wasn’t just ‘boinky-boinky’ with the groupies; there was also kerplunk, […]
A professor from Victoria University wants thousands of Australian mums and dads to blast their kids awake with a smoke alarm to test their effectiveness. But keep it down, or you’ll wake her own kids. It not only tests the alarm’s effectiveness, it’s also an excellent psychological test to see whether your children hold grudges. […]
An American man has been arrested after beating a 63 year old man at a bus stop with his Anger Management homework. He’s being sentenced to an Irony Management course. Not only has this guy bashed someone with his anger management plan, but he’s used his criminology homework to rob a bank. You know a […]
Tues, April 08 Seniors Week will be celebrated with a wild week of tea and crochet. The launch of Seniors Week will be marred by young whippersnappers who deserve a clip around the ears. The launch of Seniors Week will be marred when the oldies try to out-nostalgia each other and the event goes for […]
Cairns residents are worried for their children after a giant scrub python devoured a full-size wallaby with a joey in its pouch. Mmmm… the joey’s the juiciest bit! / most tender part! / best part! The joey made a delightful entree! After a python swallowed an entire wallaby with joey, Cairns residents are concerned for […]
Former PM John Howard has continued to argue that an apology to the stolen generations was misguided. He’d prefer an apology to the stolen parliamentarians. / an apology for being so rudely kicked out of office. The former PM said the apology could create a sense of the indigenous box being “ticked”, when his government […]
The executive director of the UN’s office on Drugs and Crime says that some stars are sending the wrong message on drugs. Well, that’s probably why they sent the wrong message then. They’re on drugs. The executive director of the UN’s office on Drugs and Crime says that some stars are sending the wrong message […]
Kevin Rudd is embarking on his first world tour, taking in the US, Europe and China during 17 days of travel. He’ll travel in his own private zeppelin, with a non-stop supply of iced vovos and pole dancers. Kevin Rudd is embarking on a world tour, taking in the US, Europe and China. Apparently China […]