A Canadian palaeontologist is planning to manipulate chicken embryos to create a dinosaur. He’s not sure what sort of dinosaur exactly, probably a chookasaurus.
A Canadian palaeontologist is planning to manipulate chicken embryos to create a dinosaur. But it’s not a waste of time – he’s pretty sure that the dinosaurs will be able to fix global warming. / cure cancer.
A Canadian palaeontologist is planning to manipulate chicken embryos to create a dinosaur. He wants to prove that the dinosaurs died out just because they were too chicken.
He thinks by flipping certain genetic levers during a chicken embryo’s development, he can reproduce the dinosaur anatomy. Or at the very least get an extra-big roast for Christmas.
He thinks by flipping certain genetic levers during a chicken embryo’s development, he can reproduce the dinosaur anatomy. Reproducing dinosaur anatomy from chicken DNA gets him HOT.
Which dinosaur he gets depends on the breed of chicken. A Rhode Island Red becomes a Pterodactyl, a Leghorn becomes an Archaeopteryx, and a Booted Bantam becomes the previously unheard of Apocalypsaurus, that devours all in its path even in its embryonic state! Who would’ve guessed?
It turns out he’s not that serious about the science at all. He just thinks it’d be really funny to watch a tyrannosaurus pecking at rocks and clucking.
The research could lead to hatching live prehistoric animals, but at this stage Dr Larsson is only interested in creating the first dinosaur abortions. The power!
He figures that if he can create a dinosaur embryo, he can prove the evolutionary link between birds and dinosaurs, and the embryo can then be killed. He really enjoys pissing off fundamentalists. / That way he pisses off fundamentalist Christians twice! / It’s a technique that gets Larsson his own special level of Hell.
He’s going to prove that birds are descended from dinosaurs, then abort the foetus, before pissing in some holy water and burning down a few churches.
Of course, he’s not going to let the embryos hatch. Well, maybe just a couple. But SSSHHH!
Of course, he’s not going to let the embryos hatch. He’ll leave that to the CIA. / That’s what lab assistants are for. / He’s going to keep them on ice until his army is complete.
I certainly hope the research proves fruitful. Roast tyrannosaur sounds awesome.
It may not sound like practical research, but I’m telling you now, it’s being monitored closely by KFC.
He’s hoping that by flicking a few genetic levers he can prove that chickens evolved from dinosaurs. And if that works, he’ll flip some more levers and see if he can prove that dinosaurs are evolved from aliens. / jellyfish. / sharks. Sharks are cool.
Ph. As if chickens evolved from dinosaurs. They’re not cool enough.
Personally, I wonder what these eggs will taste like. Mmm, raptory. / Mmm, yolkasaurus.
It’s one small step towards his dream of creating a dragon, a unicorn, and maybe one day, a girlfriend.
Sure, they might be dangerous, but imagine the drumsticks!
Not only will the dinosaurs be terrifying, but delicious too!
Of course, once we have giant roaring chickens, we’re going to need way more than 11 secret herbs and spices.
That’s going to be one scrambled egg.
Clearly he’s one of those scientists who didn’t watch Jurassic Park. / one of those scientists who watched Jurassic Park and totally missed the point.
Of course, if he wants to grow a dinosaur, he’s gunna need a bigger egg.
He says he aims to develop dinosaur traits that disappeared millions of years ago in birds. He just finds modern birds a little too small, harmless, and unterrifying. / Modern birds just aren’t enormous and bloodthirsty enough.
By rearranging the genetic material of embryonic chickens, he’s hoping to either create living dinosaurs, or really interesting scrambled eggs.
He just wants to prove again that birds are descended from dinosaurs. Because sometimes you just want to spend all your time, money and energy proving something that no-one really doubts. / And up next, he’s got this theory of gravity he wants to prove again by chucking things off tall buildings.
And if his experiment doesn’t work, well, birds still came from dinosaurs, so there.
He says if something goes wrong and the dinosaurs get out of hand, he’ll just mutate a rock to be a giant meteor that wipes them all out again.
He says that if he doesn’t do the experiment himself, sooner or later it will be done by a MAD scientist. And no-one wants that.
