In South Korea, they’ve cloned seven sniffer dogs. Which is fantastic – dogs are so hard to come by any other way.
Cloned dogs are great cloned-sheep-dogs. / at rounding up cloned sheep.
They’ve been specially bred for rounding up Dolly.
Unfortunately they can only all smell the same thing.
In South Korea, seven cloned puppies have begun training as sniffer dogs. In fact they don’t even need to sniff, they just line up looking identical and all bark at once and any drug mules are expected to totally freak out.
They’re normal little puppies. The only unusual thing about the dogs is their telekinetic mindpowers, and their unquenchable lust for human blood.
It’s only fair, they’ve been cloning the drugs for years.
Unfortunately, they only fetch sticks that all come from the same plant.
And they all dig the same hole.
Training the clones has been much easier than training regular dogs. Although, they are much more susceptible to the Dark Side of the Force.
In South Korea, they’ve cloned seven sniffer dogs. Or, as they’ve called the triumph, “Fast food”.
The puppies were cloned by a colleague of disgraced cloning scientist Hwang Woo-Suk, who is banned from research after bogus claims that he’d cloned human stem cells. In fact it may yet turn out that the dogs are just photocopies. / soft-toys. / are actually stuffed.
The dogs are all Golden Retrievers. Which is weird, as they were cloned from sheep cells.
Of course if one dog sniffs out a drug haul, they all get high.
Already they’re blaming each other for shitting on the carpet.
Unfortunately some of the clones have inevitably been evil clones, and are now running drug-smuggling rings. / and are trying to take over the force from within. When will people learn?
Training the clones of a skilled sniffer dog is easier than training normal dogs. All those memories of pain and humiliation are already built in!
Training the clones of a skilled sniffer dog is easier than training normal dogs. They’ve already had their spirits broken by being Frankenstein mutant monsters that shouldn’t be alive.
They train up one dog, and then clone it, resulting in seven dogs, ready-trained! The cloned dog army I’ve been dreaming of is closer than I thought! / Raising a dog clone army will be easier than I dreamed!
The cloned puppies are all named Toppy, short for “tomorrow’s puppy”. Unfortunately that means there’s no way of calling them without getting mobbed. / eaten alive. / smothered by dogs.
The dogs are all named “Toppy”. Not only is the name short for “Tomorrow’s Puppy”, but it is also one of the shittest names for anything on the entire planet. Almost as bad as Bindi. / Apple. / Heavenly Hirani Tiger Lily.
The dogs are all named “Toppy”. Which is better than their original name, “Freakdog” / “Grotesque Freak of Nature” / “Mutant HellHound Freak Puppy”.
They were originally going to be named after the seven Dwarves, but no-one could tell which one was going to be Sneezy, as all of them had exactly the same level of sneeziness.
It’s easy to tell them apart. Toppy is the feisty one, Toppy is the friendly one, little Toppy is more aggressive, Toppy is obedient, Toppy is the cute one, Toppy is always sleeping, and Toppy is always hungry. Unfortunately, no-one can tell which one’s Toppy. / As for the other six, well, they’re all pretty much the same.
The Velvet Underground are re-releasing a song in the dogs’ honour – “All Tomorrow’s Puppies”. I guess that’s one for the oldies.
And if one of the dogs decides to skip work, there’s no way of knowing who to punish.
The dogs have been cloned from a golden retriever, which is just one reason why it’s a bit weird that one of them’s a poodle. / chihuahua.
The advantage of having seven cloned sniffer dogs is that when they find a drug mule, they won’t just identify the suspect but will also apprehend and eat them. / they’ll bite it on the shanks. / they can take it down and maul it.
“DUDE! There’s like SEVEN IDENTICAL DOGS!”
Put them in front of a mirror and they’ll bark for hours, playing chicken with themselves. (dog voice) “He’s gonna get sick of this soon!”
The puppies were cloned by Lee Byung-chun, a colleague of disgraced cloning scientist Hwang Woo-Suk, who is banned from research after bogus claims that he’d cloned human stem cells. Claims made by Hwang Woo-Suk that Lee Byung-chun is just one of his clones, and therefore he’s actually responsible for the cloned dogs too, are also pretty likely to be bogus.
The dogs are all identical. Except of course that they are in different places in space, and made up of entirely different cells, and have their own independent minds and personalities. And one’s a German Shepherd. And one’s a fish.
Now that they’ve perfected the clone sniffer dog, they can move on to making the ultimate robot cop. / ultimate killing machine.
The dogs’ clone-nose is perfect for sniffing, and they have extra sensitive hearing, thanks to the giant ear sticking out of their backs.
