American scientists have discovered that women are able to sniff out male underarm odour regardless of the use of deodorant. While men found 19 of the 32 fragrances tested blocked their body odour, women only found it blocked by two. They also have a much more keenly attuned fart-sensor.
American scientists have discovered that women are able to sniff out male underarm odour regardless of the use of deodorant. So men – don’t bother.
According to wild speculations by purported “scientists”, females may use male sweat to identify biologically-relevant information. At least, that’s how they’re justifying their funding.
Researchers asked women and men to rate the strength of male underarm odours. Gotta get your kicks somehow, eh.
The research is partly aimed at analysing different biological responses to particular chemical signals, but is primarily about getting people to sniff each others armpits. / about humiliation and stinky pits.
Next, the scientists will try to work out how to get people to sniff each other’s arses. / what kind of pseudoscientific crap people will need to hear to be convinced to eat each other’s shit.
So men, you might think your cologne smells great, but to the chicks it just smells like tarted-up B.O. / like a used tennis sock.
Women sniff out biologically relevant information from a man’s underarm sweat when choosing a mate. Which is hard to do over the net. / Because you just can’t trust what a man claims is his biologically relevant information.
Women sniff out biologically relevant information from a man’s underarm sweat when choosing a mate. Another good reason to give roses, guys.
Of the 32 fragrances tested on women, only two seemed to block the scent of male underarm odour: roses and diamonds.
Of 32 fragrances tested, women were able to smell through 30. They were also impervious to the lure of a similar proportion of loud shirts. / favourite jumpers.
While men found 19 of the 32 fragrances tested blocked their body odour, women only found it blocked by two. And, in a similar study, when the men tried on 32 different kinds of shirts, women said to 29 of them “you’re not going out dressed like THAT are you”?
While men found 19 of the 32 fragrances tested blocked their body odour, women only found it blocked by two. And, in a similar study, when women tried on 32 different kinds of dresses, the men thought only 2 made their arses look fat.
According to the study, women are more sensitive to male odours because they’re full of interesting information. The odours, not the women. All THEIR information is limited to relationships, feelings, and shoes. Ohohoho.
So if you really want to block the scent of your armpits, the best way is the good old-fashioned fart.
Of course we all dream of that magic moment when boy meets girl, and it’s love at first sniff.
It explains the appeal of the likes of George Clooney – he’s just totally whiffy!
It explains why people like Hugh Jackman. He might be butt-ugly with a pea-sized brain, but he smells HOTT. / but he stinks GOOOD.
So in fact the most attractive deodorant for a man would smell just like Colin Firth’s armpits.
Men are now looking to appeal to women via a new range of scent lingerie from Victoria’s Secrete.
“I’m sorry, you’re the sweetest, funniest, most handsome guy I’ve ever met, but the biological information encoded in your underarm sweat just seems wrong.”
It’s bad news for metrosexuals. It doesn’t matter how much you groom and preen yourself – women can still smell how ugly you really are.
So now we know why humanity has bred itself into a race of moronic self-destructive planet-chewing halfwits that smell quite nice.
