In the same week as the Federal budget, MPs not only voted to give themselves a $4700 pay rise, but also began a new scheme allowing them to get taxpayer-funded therapy. It sure can be depressing to know just how much you are ripping off taxpayers for your counselling.
In the same week as the Federal budget, MPs not only voted to give themselves a $4700 pay rise, but also began a new scheme allowing them to get taxpayer-funded therapy. That pay rise really gave them the blues. / Giving themselves a pay rise just filled them with guilt and self-loathing. / They need the counselling to deal with their feelings of guilt and self-loathing.
Of course, a lot of them just need the counselling because of feelings of guilt over all their free counselling. It’s a lot to deal with.
After all, it’s very stressful destroying struggling families, tormenting the elderly, and sending young people off to war. And sometimes an enormous paypacket just isn’t enough.
Ordinary Australians would have to pay about 120 bucks an hour for the same service. And we don’t get free coke and hookers either.
But politicians need free counselling. Especially since Kevin took away the free nuts and jellybeans.
The therapists not only allow Government MPs to deal with their issues, but give them plenty of dirt on the Opposition.
Senate President John Hogg said it wasn’t easy having to sit in a committee of inquiry and listen to people tell you about their loved ones who had committed suicide. Oh, diddums. / And it’s even worse when they tell you how much their therapy cost.
Senate President John Hogg said it wasn’t easy having to sit in a committee of inquiry and listen to people tell you about their loved ones who had committed suicide. Sure, it beats BEING them, but it’s still pretty tough. / You’ve got to spend the whole time nodding and looking serious, and that can really take an emotional toll.
Politicians say we should stop bitching about it. After all, it’s not like the cost is really much more than a pig’s trotter and truffle souffle, a civet of venison with verjus, and a bottle of the ‘98 Châteauneuf du Pape, Cuvée Centenaire!
But surely if politicians deserve free counselling, counsellors deserve some free politics?
But people should quit complaining. Ordinary families struggling to survive just don’t know what it’s like to have to lord over people, getting paid enormous salaries, for 20 weeks of the year!
It’s important for them to get free counselling. Especially the sort of counselling that involves hot wax and nipple clamps.
Still, maybe it’s a fair trade. After all, we might not get free counselling, but we don’t have to sit through Question Time. / but we’re not universally hated either.
It’s a good thing that we’re giving Swannie a confidential outlet where he can confess that he doesn’t have a clue what he’s doing.
The service gives MPs an outlet for their stresses and anxieties, so it’s certainly good news for the Prime Minister’s air stewards.
It’s good to have a service that allows Parliamentarians to let their stresses out at someone other than the air stewards.
It does seem a very expensive program just to make sure that Belinda Neal stays sane.
It’s only fair that they get publicly-funded mental health care. If it wasn’t for deep-seated psychological wounds, we wouldn’t have any politicians at all.
Though what’s unfair is that John Howard has to pay to excise his demons. He’s definitely mentioning that next session.
The therapy is a perfect chance for Parliamentarians to confidentially discuss crises of confidence, moral quandaries and how much fun they had that night at Scores.
Government MPs say they’re not sure where they got the idea, it just popped into their head after an intense session of hypnotherapy.
