The latest victims of violent verbal attacks are football umpires. Coaches and the media have been increasingly outspoken in their criticisms of the games’ refs. AFL coaches have been slapped with fines and reprimands; though they’d be better off using a 50 metre penalty.
It’s just not on. Coaches should leave abusing umpires to the players.
It’s just not on. Coaches should leave abusing umpires to the crowd.
To decide games in an unbiased manner, umpires are being phased out and gradually replaced with a meat raffle.
Eddie McGuire has supported the right of journos to criticise umpires. He wants to still be able to commentate on Collingwood games…
Eddie McGuire has supported the right of journos to criticise umpires. After all, if he’s going to be criticised for biased commentating, it’s only fair that they’re criticised for biased umpiring.
Worse than that, several players have been criticised for biased playing…
It’s about time umpires pulled their socks up though. They’re supposed to set an example. But when was the last time you heard of umpires getting together for a decent gang-bang? Frankly they’re just not trying.
The umpire-bashing has led to umpire supporters coming out of the woodwork, heading off to the footy clad in their all-white outfits. Or they could just be bored off-season cricketers.
Said one critic, “But they deserve the criticism! All that slinking about at night, turning into bats, drinking the blood of virgins… oh, sorry! I thought you said the Canterbury Bulldogs.”
Umpires are going to be replaced with new technology – now, every time a kick for goal is made, the spectators vote it in or out by SMS.
So the whinging white maggots feel like they’re under attack, eh? Lucky they’ve got their seeing-eye dog to protect them!
If the whinging white maggots feel like they’re under attack, why don’t they just strike back with their white canes, eh?
They’re planning on replacing umpires with the Umpirator, a super-intelligent robot umpire sent from the future to see that all games are fair. Just make sure that the “Kill Puny Humans” setting is set to “off”.
With St Kilda losing, the umpires feel like they finally have a win – which means they make it through to the finals!
With St Kilda losing, the umpires feel like they finally have a win – next round, it’s umpires versus coaches!
They’ve even got their own team song:
“Oh when the Umps go marching in,
Oh when the Umps go marching in,
You wouldn’t want to play for St Kilda:
You’ve got fuck all chance to win.”
St Kilda has been criticising umpires for being biased. But have you heard their coach? He’s all “St Kilda, St Kilda, St Kilda.”
St Kilda’s coach Grant Thomas has accused the umpires of being biased. Like he can talk – all he ever talks about is St Kilda! Oh, and the umpires.
It’s just history repeating itself. Remember the fall of the Roman Umpire?
It must be hard for umpires, always out there in the battle, but never knowing what it’s like to win. It’s as bad as being in the Coalition of the Willing…
One AFL umpire was overheard at an airport saying that St Kilda’s loss in a game he was officiating felt like a victory for him. The Umpire Strikes Back!
It’s critical to understand that the umpire critics were initially criticised, then legitimised, and it’s been politicised now the criticism critics have been legitimately criticised. Legitimate criticism of criticism is critical!
We shouldn’t really slag off umpires though; we might be suspended for a few matches. Although I wouldn’t mind, actually; it’d free up a lot of time on the weekends…
The umpire was talking to Nine News reporter Tony Jones at the time, leading to a bizarre news report where Tony said “And the man the umpire was talking to was… me!” Got to love an impartial news service.
People say they’re biased, but personally, I’d like to see some umpirical evidence…
