Club Pink, a female-only gym, is being taken to court for having a no breastfeeding policy. However, breastfeeding mothers are still welcome down the road at Club Red, the Men’s Gym. In fact, they’re one of the biggest drawcards. Daily shows at 11 and 3.
“Come along to our gym,” said Trevor Titsout, owner of the “Tits-out Sports Bar and Ladies Breastfeeding Gym”. “You’re more than welcome.”
Club Pink’s Manager told the mothers that one reason for the ban was that babies smell. “All those sweet baby smells mask the glorious reek of armpit sweat!”
The Human Rights and Discrimination Commissioner said that the breastfeeding ban was clear discrimination. The club’s “no men” policy is okey-dokey though.
With a no-children policy, it’s weird that the mums would think breast-feeding would be possible. Unless they’re breastfeeding adults… OK, maybe it should be banned.
The Canberra club asked two members to stop breastfeeding due to the no-children policy of the club. One of them protested that she was breastfeeding an adult but was told that the ban still applies.
“Working out really gets the milk flowing.”
A spokesbaby said “Googoogaga”, which translated means, “It’s not fair – I love seeing chicks in lycra!”
The babies are said to be opening up a “Baby’s Only” gym, Club Pastel, where there’s breast-milk on tap.
Babies are pissed off. “Where the hell am I meant to work on my abs now?”
There’s still one gym you can breast-feed at; that’s Jim Sullivan of 43 Abercrombie Avenue, Epping. Send photo of tits; no time wasters please.
Rather than banning breastfeeding, some gyms are making it part of the creative gymnastics program. And those who can’t breastfeed can always express themselves some other way.
That’ll teach Club Pink to offer a Breasticise class.
In retaliation, mothers’ clubs are disallowing weight lifting and rowing machines.
Breastfeeding fathers are just confused…
Breastfeeding fathers are still allowed… but they aren’t easy to find.
The gym was concerned that their new breast-milking machines were being underused…
