Chinese dwarfs have set up their own village to escape discrimination. Or, in fact, to impose discrimination. The 120 villagers in the mountain commune of Kunming are all under 129cm tall. Apart from their mighty leader, Snow White. The villagers have turned themselves into a tourist attraction by building mushroom houses and living and dressing […]
Tuesday, October 20 Federal parliament resumes, with the ETS top of the agenda, unless something else comes along in the meantime that they can kick Turnbull with. Dannii Minogue will turn 38, and send Kylie a card saying “Still no cancer!” Dannii Minogue will turn 38! But I’d still flip her over and bone her. […]
Kevin Rudd’s getting himself a hi-tech war-room! The 34.9 million dollar room will feature up-to-date intelligence, communications, mapping technology, and a direct line to Obama’s phone, so he has someone who can tell him what to do. / someone to listen to his panicked sobbing. Kevin Rudd has installed a hi-tech “war room” close by […]
Canberra Witches! They’re like regular witches, but cold, grey and boring! / but way more bureaucratic. / but only cast spells a few months a year. After the discovery of a blood-spattered concrete slab at Mt Ainslie, Catch the Fire Ministries pastor Danny Nalliah has called for spiritual warfare against Canberra witches. Whoever wins, Canberra […]
According to a new survey, Spanish men are the best in bed. Well, there’s nothing else to do there. / Well, no wonder – the bastards get a siesta. Australian blokes came 7th. Which is preferable to coming first. I’m glad we’re only 7th. It’s just rude to come first. In a survey of women’s […]
Australian molecular biologist Dr Elizabeth Blackburn has won the Nobel prize for medicine for her study of chromosome-protecting enzymes in cells. “Aussie Aussie Aussie! Oi oi oi! Chromosome-protecting… enzymes…” She has won the Nobel prize for Discoverer of the Most Chromosome-Protecting Enzymes. Believe it or not, she was the only nominee. Dr Blackburn was dropped […]
The World Masters Games in Sydney are weighing up the difficult decision of what drugs can be permissible, to ensure, in the words of one games consultant, that athletes aren’t “carking out on us”. Yeah, carking out athletes are such a pain to administrate. Games consultant Nicki Vance said “We don’t want people carking out […]
North Korea’s leader Kim Jong-il told Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao that they might be ready to return to six-party talks if progress is made on bilateral talks with Washington. He REALLY wants to meet Obama. / He just really wants to get Obama’s autograph. The South Korean government says the North has cholera, yellow fever, […]
The Liberal Party are looking to ditch Malcolm Turnbull and install Joe Hockey as their leader, as part of their committed policy of “everyone gets a go”. With the Liberals in disarray over what to do about the emissions trading scheme, they’re going to replace Malcolm with Joe, someone who essentially believes exactly what Malcolm […]
The Hey Hey Reunion is in hot water over a Red Faces skit featuring a blackfaced Jackson Five impersonation. But that’s the great thing about Hey Hey, it takes us all back to a time before political correctness, sensitivity and brains. It’s appalling. Michael was never THAT black. Who’d think that in this day and […]