Parliament just keeps getting crasser. Labor backbencher Nick Champion said that Malcolm Turnbull’s refusal to rule out a return to Work Choices was like “a fart in an elevator”. That’s assuming anyone would get into an elevator with Malcolm Turnbull in the first place. But describing Turnbull’s silence as like a “fart in an elevator” […]
McDonald’s are combining forces with a local church to oppose a neighbourhood brothel. Minister: “It’s so close, you can almost reach around & touch it with your hand.” And if anyone knows about being touched by young kids with a reacharound… I don’t see what’s wrong with a priest going to McDonald’s to show how […]
A study has found that men lie twice as often as women. Oh, we do not. / Actually, no we don’t. According to a new survey, men tell about 6 lies a day, while women only tell 3. Although apparently they are much better at lying on survey questionnaires. Men tell six fibs a day, […]
The world’s oldest man, Walter Breuning, celebrates his 113th birthday with a party & cake at his retirement home in Montana. Though it could have been an undersea adventure & ox tongue for all he can tell these days. What do you get a 113 year old? The only thing he really wants is to […]
The latest startling British survey reveals a new menace hiding in our kitchens – bikkies! More than half of all Britons have fallen victim to biscuit-related injuries. I wonder if that’s why the British Empire lies in ruins. Next the surveyors are going to look into just how many people injure themselves on other kinds […]
Taking suspected terrorists out to dinner may be more effective than locking them up without charge, according to the Department of Foreign Affairs ambassador. If they’re guilty, it can help rehabilitate them, and if they’re innocent, it’s a lot less “going against all the rules of the Geneva Convention”. Just don’t get into an argument […]
Tuesday, October 6 The Man Booker Prize will be awarded to the person who books the most men. (It’ll be a traffic cop AGAIN!) Tomorrow the winner of The Booker Prize will be announced, despite pressure from some corners to rename it the Booky-Wooky Prize. Thomas The Tank Engine will be live on stage in […]
The Australian Christian Lobby has launched a “Tame the Tube” campaign to demand tougher rules on sex, violence and foul language on TV. Of course, they’ll keep demanding it until there’s no sex, no violence, no swearing and no TV. / TV should be for promoting Christ and THAT’S IT. “Underbelly” has copped a massive […]
The Opposition says a big surge in asylum seeker numbers is an urgent problem. More a problem for Christmas Island than the rest of us, but still – URGENT! The Opposition wants asylum seekers to be dealt with. Not in the sense of dealing with them, more in the sense of completely obliterating them. The […]
Despite only working five months in 2008-09 before retiring, Qantas chief executive Geoff Dixon was paid 11 million dollars. Just further proof that the financial crisis is over. At least, it is for that guy. Despite profits dropping 88 percent and 1750 jobs lost, Geoff Dixon’s 5 month job as CEO netted him 11 million. […]