One of the quickest drinks in the world – the simple shot – just got quicker, thanks to the “Alcohol Shot Gun” – also known as the “fun-gun”, “piss-pistol”, and “chunder-blunderbuss”. / “chunderbluss”. Of course, real men drink from a semi-automatic. / a rocket launcher. / a Magnum. And if someone makes a deadly mistake […]
It’s official – a declassified 2004 report show that the CIA engaged in torture of detainees. Turns out the terrorists actually did destroy our way of life. The CIA have finally declassified the torture information. Well, they took off the hoods. But what’s the point of banning cameras if some goody-goody agency insider’s just going […]
A London study has found that toddlers can bite with as much force as the average mongrel dog. Ah, toddlers. The savage bite of a mongrel dog combined with the egocentricity of a CEO. / with the brutal instincts of a top executive. Not only are their jaws as strong as a mongrel dog’s, but […]
Gangs of international thieves are flying in to Australia and picking pockets, snatching bags and skimming ATMs. Not to mention getting a nice tan. / catching a few waves. Gangs of international thieves are flying in to Australia and picking pockets, snatching bags and skimming ATMs. It’s just their way. / But really – who […]
The latest fad in China is fortune fish: fish tattooed with lucky characters for things such as “Good Fortune”, “Long Life” and “Happiness”. Curiously there’s been little demand for “Mum”. Mutilating live creatures has never been such good luck! / filled with good fortune! It’s weird – every time walk into a tattoo-parlour and ask […]
A TV series is about to be launched on British television about Muslim superheroes. As soon as they work out who the villains can be. And following the Mohammad cartoon scandal, “The 99” are the first comic book superheroes to crack down on comic books! I’m not saying they’re not as good as Western superheroes. […]
Tuesday, September 08 On Tuesday, Pink will turn 30! Hopefully for her birthday someone will buy her some clothes. / some pants. Tomorrow, Pink will turn 30, although she’s spent less than 24 of those years in Australia. / on her current tour. The inquiry into the Parliamentary Superannuation Reduction Bill will report in Canberra […]
In the last two and a half years, federal politicians’ cars have copped 314 speeding fines, 184 parking tickets, and have been involved in 232 car accidents. Good to see that little things like traffic laws aren’t going to stop them passing legislation! Sure they drive recklessly – sometimes, legislation just can’t wait! Our politicians […]
The Afghanistan elections have been subject to up to three million suspicious enrolments, including “Britney Jamilia Spears”. And in Afghanistan, “Hit me baby one more time” is a legally-enforceable marriage requirement. Surely they don’t expect Osama to register under his OWN name. Gee, Britney sure is looking a lot more beardy these days. It’s either […]
Feral pests are running wild, causing over 620 million dollars worth of damage to Australian agriculture. Topping the list are birds, although many of those are native species, and therefore not subject to visa restrictions. Feral pests are causing over 600 million dollars worth of damage to farms, whether it be through digging holes, devouring […]