Star Trek has boldy gone where it never has before – into the strange new world of perfumes. It’s perfume, but not as we know it. The Vulcan scent is plain water. Mixing it with any other smells just seems illogical. / Trying to smell like something you’re not is just illogical. You can also […]
In Costa Rica, a man has nursed a crocodile back to health swimming, playing and even sleeping beside the 5-metre-long reptile. It’s either a remarkable story of cross-species bonding, or a complete crock. The pair became friends when Chito rescued the crocodile after finding him close to death with a bullet in his eye. Now, […]
Canadian scientists have confirmed what we’ve all feared – an outbreak of zombies could lead to the collapse of civilisation! It’s a theoretical model – there is no actual evidence that zombies could exist, meaning that it really is a groundbreaking redefinition of “scientists”. The researchers decided to only model classic, slow-moving zombies, rather than […]
Tuesday, September 01 Tomorrow’s the first day of Spring, so everyone – raise a glass of Claratyne! / hayfever medication! Tomorrow’s the first day of Spring, so everyone – time to sacrifice those virgins! Tomorrow’s the first day of Spring, but that doth not make one swallow. Just ask my wife. Tomorrow’s National Wattle Day […]
There’s a new bully in town. And that bully’s name is China. They’re holding Australia’s head in the toilet & flushing. And if you’ve ever used a Chinese toilet… well, it’s not pleasant. / Although if it’s a Chinese toilet, we’ll be lucky if it does flush. We sell them iron ore, we help them […]
An online survey in China has found that prostitutes are considered more trustworthy than politicians. But it’s not just in China. In fact, in Italy, the prostitutes are the best source of reliable information about politicians. An online survey in China has found that prostitutes are considered more trustworthy than politicians. Plus they can do […]
China has released a list of 100 rules that people will have to comply with in order to be considered “super-human” enough to be an astronaut. Well, you are going to have to fly faster than a speeding bullet. Bad breath, body odour, tooth cavities, runny noses, and scars are all on the list. But […]
Deaths and injuries due to mobility scooters are on the rise. Who would’ve thought that a vehicle driven almost exclusively by those close to death could have resulted in fatalities. It’s uncanny! There have also been an alarming number of fatalities from elderly people using an alternative form of transport known as “their feet”. The […]
Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin has once again unveiled his rippling torso-muscles to the cameras. He’s Vlad the Unveiler. Vladimir just loves to play the macho man. People are so afraid to cross him that the secret police have been freed up to do his personal bidding. And Russians love Putin’s macho image. Every time […]
Scientists have been able to grow mouse teeth from stem cells. Nooo! Now my mouse tooth collection will be worthless! If we can grow our own teeth, it will eliminate the need for dentures. Not to mention plastic chattering teeth! / And make those chattering teeth toys a whole lot more realistic. If we can […]