Categories
Good News Week

Pray after the beep (Good News Week 23/3/09: So You Think You Can Mime)

Dutch artist Johan van der Dong has set up an answering machine to receive messages for God. He’ll pass them on next time he’s smoking that super-skunk. Van der Dong said he said up the number to give people an opportunity to take pause and contemplate life. Also he needed a decent laugh. It’s about […]

Categories
Good News Week

Shooting Blanks (Good News Week 23/3/09: So You Think You Can Mime)

The administrative head of the central Indian district of Shivpuri has offered to fast-track gun license applications for men who have vasectomies. They want to make sure you’re only shooting blanks. Though once you get your gun, you’re not allowed any bullets. If only Americans sterilised all their gun nuts too. It makes sense – […]

Categories
Good News Week

Studying his navel (Good News Week 23/3/09: Strange But True)

An Austrian scientist claims to have solved the mystery of belly-button fluff. And it’s not the Fluff Fairy. / All this time, I’d assumed it was the Fluff Fairy. / Fluff Goblins. / Lintworms. Over three years, Georg Steinhauser studied 503 pieces of fluff from his own belly-button. And then he had the idea for […]

Categories
Good News Week

Strip down to your strip (Good News Week 23/3/09: Strange But True)

A British survey as revealed that more men would prefer to see their girlfriends in bed in their football team’s colours than in lingerie. They also love their girls to wave flags when they cum. / to spray them with champagne when they cum. And nothing gets them hornier than a Mexican wave. / And […]

Categories
Good News Week

Good Next Week (Good News Week 23/3/09: closing)

Tues, March 24 Barack Obama will meet Kevin Rudd for the first time. Ruddy will never have looked so lame. Barack Obama will meet Kevin Rudd for the first time, and pick up some tips on gently dashing the hopes of your followers. Kevin Rudd will meet Barack Obama and in the great tradition of […]

Categories
Good News Week

And the big news? (Good News Week 16/3/09: monologue)

It’s all happening in Canberra. The number of job ads is plummeting as the govt. tries to get its new I.R. laws passed. Certainly there’s been a lot of layoffs in the WorkChoices advertising sector. Though unions will be on the look out for a fresh bunch of heavies. We were warned… The government is […]

Categories
Good News Week

Designer Bub (Good News Week 16/3/09: What’s the Story)

Advances in embryonic cell analysis has meant a Los Angeles fertility clinic is able to offer designer babies. At last my five-armed, nine-legged baby will no longer be just a crazy dream. It’s great! With this technology, finally I can have a baby that looks just like Mikey. My prayers have been answered! Sure, but […]

Categories
Good News Week

Rudd’s Shit-storm (Good News Week 16/3/09: What’s the Story)

Kevin Rudd has created a political shit-storm by appearing on TV and uttering the phrase “political shit-storm”. Huh! Sounds like someone’s trying to cash in on the Underbelly phenomenon. It really is the only way you can compete with Underbelly. Really? Shit! You can swear on TV? No-one told me… He’s opened the floodgates. Now […]

Categories
Good News Week

Abstain from text (Good News Week 16/3/09: 3 1/2 Corners)

It’s small, hard, you can slide your hand along to make it bigger, and the Pope doesn’t want you touching it. That’s right – it’s a mobile phone. Monsignor Benito Cocchi has called on the faithful to avoid modern modes of communication for Lent. Not telephones of course, God’s cool with any communication devices pre-1980. […]

Categories
Good News Week

Cut death – cut costs (Good News Week 16/3/09: Strange But True)

American politicians opposed to the death penalty are arguing that it should be abolished to cut costs. And some sort of gobbledygook about “human rights”, “valuing life”, blah blah blah. American politicians opposed to the death penalty are arguing that it should be abolished to cut costs. Because what other argument could there be? / […]