Horny male funnel-web spiders are on the prowl, looking for women, and turning up in odd places. One 94-year-old got bitten by a funnel-web in her slipper – he was just trying on some sexy new sleepwear. One 94-year-old woman got bitten by a horny funnel-web in her slipper – he’d promised his girlfriend he […]
A former Beverly Hills plastic surgeon is in trouble for fuelling his car with fat sucked from his patients. Or as he calls them, “bowsers”. A former Beverly Hills plastic surgeon is in trouble for fuelling his car with fat sucked from his patients. The strangest thing about the case is that he is actually […]
Unfortunately, it’s not as tasty as it sounds. India’s Hindu nationalist movement has created a new soft drink made from cow urine. I doubt it’ll be popular. I know if I drank cow urine, I’d want to get pissed. Unfortunately, the urine does not get you pissed. I mean, who hasn’t wished there was some […]
Tues, March 03 The federal govt. will launch a bus driver recruitment scheme in Melbourne. They’re hoping to distract us from the trains. The New Media Summit in Sydney will take place tomorrow, presented in ice on the back of a beetle. If you can’t make it to Sydney for tomorrow’s New Media Summit, tough. […]
Liberal MP Mal Washer said that freezing MPs’ salaries was “crazy”, and that without proper pay, there was a risk only “clowns”, “losers”, “screwballs” and “halfwits” would want to enter politics. As opposed to reasonable, literate people like Mal Washer. / Because of course at the moment they accept nothing but certified geniuses. (humorous pictures […]
The global financial crisis is taking its toll on the partners of financial workers. In America there are a growing number of Wall Street Widows, but it’s even worse here in Australia where stockbrokers have been forced to place their children in All Ordinaries Orphanages. Unfortunately this time around, financial workers have found that once […]
The study by the Australian Olympic Committee, strongly recommends an 80 to 100 million dollars extra per year. For Australian Olympians. Now there’s a surprise. / Well, I wouldn’t have expected them to ask for less. / But they’ll make do with a billion. / Now that’s impartial. An Australian Olympic Committee study says that […]
Health spas worldwide are embracing a trend for filling pools with flesh-eating Kangal fish, which feed off dead skin and let the healthy cells grow, making them great for treating skin diseases. And for more serious medical conditions, they bring out the squid-surgeon. / the sawfish. The perfect solution if you’re suffering from white-bait. / […]
The Chinese government has now declared that March 28th will be a day for Tibetans to celebrate! It’s the day the Dalai Lama’s Tibetan rebellion was finally crushed by the Chinese military 50 years ago. Hooray! Those Chinese – they’re just so inscrutable. Good news for Tibetans! China has declared March 28 “Serf Emancipation Day” […]
The West Australian Public Transport Authority is campaigning against inconsiderate commuters listening to loud music or speaking loudly on mobile phones. Huh. I don’t see them turning down the volume of their trains. Are these passengers really being inconsiderate? Or just trying to be audible? So far the campaign has met with little success, as […]