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Good News Week

Chips smell like ironing boards (Good News Week 23/2/09: Limericks)

London scientists have identified the scents that make up the smell of chips – aromas including butterscotch, cocoa, onion, cheese, flowers and, get this, ironing boards. And here I was thinking they smelt of salt and grease. Chips smell like ironing boards. Well, ironing boards covered in grease and salt. I think the research is […]

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Good News Week

Spider-bot (Good News Week 23/2/09: Limericks)

A new robotic security guard has been unveiled that can sense an intruder and launch a web to capture them. And then, it rolls up to its captive and feasts on the warm innards before injecting the corpse with its eggs. The robot’s fantastic – not only can it disable burglars and vandals, but it’s […]

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Good News Week

99 to life (Good News Week 23/2/09: Buzzers of Death)

In Beijing, a 99 year old man is facing trial accused of swindling $170,000 from an American academic. He could receive a life sentence, or up to 6 months if the jury’s harsh. He pleaded incontinent. Frankly, if you’ve lived to 99, why not see your time out in jail. Something new. He may get […]

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Good News Week

Stinkfoot (Good News Week 23/2/09: Strange But True)

After a 10 year legal battle, a Dutch philosophy student has won the right to study at a Rotterdam University despite his foot odour. The judge finally upheld the student’s appeal just to get him out of the damn court. The university didn’t expect to win – they just wanted him out of the classroom […]

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Good News Week

Is That A Wallet In Your Pocket? (Good News Week 23/2/09: Strange But True)

Newcastle scientists have just released a report claiming that women have more and better orgasms if their partner has more money. The boffins have also hastened to add that scientists ain’t paid peanuts, baby. British psychologists have found a correlation between the frequency of women’s orgasms and the size of their partner’s income. And that’s […]

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Good News Week

Good Next Week (Good News Week 23/2/09: closing)

Tues, Feb. 24 Tuesday is Business Clean Up Australia Day, which is fair enough, as it’s them who fucked it up in the first place. Tuesday is National Pancake Day! Mick Dodson’s cool with that one. Delicious. The unveiling of the Queen Mother memorial tomorrow will go horribly wrong when someone calls the Queen a […]

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Good News Week

And the big news? (Good News Week 16/2/09: monologue)

It was the first anniversary of the apology to the Stolen Generations. Though since then, nothing really practical has changed for indigenous people. (shrug / look guilty) …Sorry! It was the first anniversary of the apology to the Stolen Generations. I’m so glad everyone’s living in peace, harmony and equality now. / I’m so glad […]

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Good News Week

Debtaration Y (Good News Week 16/2/09: What’s the Story?)

According to a BankWest study, 29% of under-30s are financially unfit, 64% are borderline, and just 7% are deemed financially fit. That’s what happens when you put all your money in shares, housing or savings. According to a BankWest study, 29% of under-30s are financially unfit, 64% are borderline, and just 7% are deemed financially […]

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Good News Week

PopeTube (Good News Week 16/2/09: What’s the Story?)

So the Pope’s on YouTube. LOL. / I’m Rolling On the Floor Laughing My Arse Off. The Pope’s on Youtube! At last a virtual home for your virtual God! The Vatican have set up their own YouTube channel, though so far it’s mostly being used as a marketing tool for the iPope. His Holiness is […]

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Good News Week

Human dumbbells (Good News Week 16/2/09: Strange But True)

A London gym has begun employing what they call “human dumbbells”, people who sit on adapted gym machines so lifters can visualise what they’re lifting. The main problem is that the job of “dumbbell” doesn’t really add much to your CV. Of course, they don’t want to be called “dumbells”. They prefer “weight elevation technical […]