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Good News Week

Penguin Colada (Good News Week 20/10/08: Animal Magnetism)

The latest casualties of climate change are a group of penguins who ended up migrating to Brazil. The unusual detour was primarily caused by warmer-than-normal ocean currents, although many of the penguins also wanted to check out the hot Brazilian chicks. / were hankering for a pina colada. / had their hearts set on dancing […]

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Good News Week

Good Next Week (Good News Week 20/10/08: closing)

Tues, Oct. 21 On Tuesday, Malcolm Turnbull will talk at the Business Awards in Sydney. He’s not there as a speaker, he’ll just be sitting up the back heckling. On Tuesday, Malcolm Turnbull will talk at the Business Awards in Sydney. And the major prize this year is a shot at the Liberal leadership! Thurs, […]

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Good News Week

And in the last couple of months… (Good News Week 13/10/08: monologue)

Sorry about the long break – we were sucked into a blackhole created by the Large Hadron Collider, and spent the last 9 weeks climbing out of our own armpits backwards through time. Not an experience I’ve had since my uni days. Well, it took the collapse of the global economy, but we’re back! Channel […]

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Good News Week

Eating Skippy for Our Grandkiddies (Good News Week 13/10/08: What’s the Story)

The release of Ross Garnaut’s final report on climate change has revealed a disconnection between what Australians needs to do and are willing to do. Aussies are prepared to pay 10 bucks a month more for electricity rather than the 40 that Garnaut says we will need to. Still, with that extra 30 bucks a […]

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Good News Week

Judo Putin (Good News Week 13/10/08: What’s the Story)

Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin has released an instructional judo DVD. Putin’s a black belt in judo – in fact he’s never been defeated. At least not by anyone still alive. As if Putin wasn’t scary enough already. Not only is Putin a master at Judo, he’s also great at Ludo, Cluedo, and Uno, too. […]

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Good News Week

Schoolyard Henson (Good News Week 13/10/08: Don’t Quote Me)

Furore has erupted over the revelation that controversial photographer Bill Henson was allowed access to primary school grounds without parental permission. But apparently it had proven very difficult to track down his parents. Because there’s nothing worse than young children being exposed to someone whose work is on the curriculum. Kevin Rudd and Malcolm Turnbull […]

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Good News Week

Presidential smears (Good News Week 13/10/08: Don’t Quote Me)

With the U.S. Presidential election just a few weeks away, things are getting ugly, with Republicans attacking Barack Obama for past associations and Democrats threatening to retaliate. Well! I never thought I’d see the day where politicians began attacking their opponents! Republican vice-presidential candidate and pitbull-with-lipstick Sarah Palin said Obama “pals around with terrorists”. Apparently […]

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Good News Week

Kindy kids are our gambling future (Good News Week 13/10/08: Up-cut)

Internet gaming sites are using kindergarten kids in marketing material for more PC gambling terminals in clubs. The campaign acts as a reminder to venue operators that once patrons have run out of money they can still gamble their children. / can still take their first-borns. The marketing materials feature pictures of kindy-age kids, or […]

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Good News Week

Risky Testosterone (Good News Week 13/10/08: Up-cut)

Researchers at Harvard have discovered that risky financial investments are linked to above-average levels of testosterone. No wonder the stock market’s such a cock-up. / balls-up. / totally rooted. / thoroughly fucked. Masculine features like prominent jaws and cheekbones are also related to irrational risk taking. If you are looking for a safe investment, choose […]

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Good News Week

Wedding Cheeseburger (Good News Week 13/10/08: Strange But True)

When Tom and Kerry Watts got married in Norwich, they had their dream wedding cake – a 20 kilogram cheeseburger. And when they left the chapel, everyone threw fries. So beautiful. It was a wedding with the lot. And the champagne was watered-down and filled to the brim with ice. An English couple had as […]