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Good News Week

Schoolgirls harass construction workers (Good News Week 28/7/08: So You Think You Can Mime)

British high school girls who have been wolf-whistling at construction workers have been warned to stop. See, it starts with school girls showing a bit of plumbers’ crack, and look where it ends. British high school girls who have been wolf-whistling at construction workers have been warned to stop. And you can see the footage […]

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Good News Week

Alcoholic, suicidal, depressing entertainment (Good News Week 28/7/08: 5 second grab)

A survey showing that Australian films were too depressing for audiences has been released by the Film Finance Corporation, just weeks prior to it being amalgamated into Screen Australia. If only it had had a happy ending. Australian films are too depressing to draw crowds. But no wonder Aussie filmmakers are depressed – have you […]

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Good News Week

Lifelike-savers (Good News Week 28/7/08: Strange But True)

Gympie police frantically smashed car windows to rescue a seemingly unconscious baby, only to discover it was an extremely lifelike doll. They were so frustrated they arrested the baby whose doll it was. Gympie police frantically smashed car windows to rescue a seemingly unconscious baby, only to discover it was an extremely lifelike doll. So […]

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Good News Week

Oil crisis = whore crisis (Good News Week 28/7/08: Strange But True)

American brothels have had a huge slump in business due to the oil crisis. Turns out blokes don’t need sex as badly as they need petrol to get there. The price of crude, stops ‘em getting rude. All over America blokes who are no longer able to afford to get their rocks off, are instead […]

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Good News Week

Good Next Week (Good News Week 28/7/08: closing)

Tues, July 29 Tomorrow sees the release of a national survey of adult oral health. Apparently it’s healthier if you spit. Toothpaste, people, toothpaste. Tomorrow sees the release of a national survey of adult oral health. Needless to say, it’s an oral survey. Tomorrow is NASA’s 50th anniversary. In a statement to mark the occasion, […]

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Good News Week

The Relaity Behined the Headlions (Good News Week 14/7/08: monologue)

Some unusual news stories on TV this week. (Play “gulity” clip.) You can tell he was gulity. He had that gulity look in his eeys. Although the man has been found gulity, the judge is still finding it difficult to pass an appropriate sentence. Or even use the word “gulity” in an appropriate sentence. He’s […]

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Good News Week

Your GPS controls your car (Good News Week 14/7/08: What’s the Story)

The NSW Government is trialling an in-car GPS system that cuts off fuel flow to engines when it detects the driver is speeding. And when it detects another driver is speeding, it automatically flips them the bird. / it automatically honks, flips them the bird, overtakes them, slows right down, gets out, and throws the […]

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Good News Week

Anyone missing a 727? (Good News Week 14/7/08: 3 1/2 Corners)

Vietnamese authorities are trying to find the owner of a Boeing 727 abandoned at Hanoi’s Noi Bai airport last year. I’m thinking of popping over and saying it’s mine. They also want to find the owner of the airport it’s been stranded on. If someone doesn’t own up soon, they’re going to have to ask […]

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Good News Week

Powered by Rave (Good News Week 14/7/08: 3 1/2 Corners)

A London nightclub is about to open which will use the pounding of clubbers’ feet to generate electricity. Of course the most eco-friendly dancers will be those who avoid pirouettes and go the Zombie Stomp. If you want to be really eco-friendly, make sure you bring your jackhammer. If you want to be really eco-friendly, […]

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Good News Week

Telephone Ads Make Hilarious Sitcoms (Good News Week 14/7/08: Odd One Out)

Telstra are thinking of launching a sitcom based on the ad with the father telling his son that the Great Wall of China was used for keeping out rabbits. Huh! And they say Australia can’t make sitcoms! It’s sure to go ahead. They may only have two very vague characters, and 20 seconds worth of […]