Oh no! The world is running out of internet addresses! By 2010 there’ll be no more addresses available on the present network and new users will have to be use the slightly older, tin-can-and-twine-ernet. / and new users will have to actually talk to each other. / and new users will have to actually talk […]
A survey has found 4% of Australians went to work drunk last year, and 1.6% under the influence of drugs. Of course that figure would be closer to 90% if they counted caffeine, aspirin and Viagra. Think about that when you have a cuppa tea on your smoko… What were the rest of you doing? […]
Seven Australian Universities are making lectures and research available on iTunes. This way you can download a whole course and listen to them whenever you want to sleep. / and skip all your lectures at once! Not only can you download the original lectures, but funky remixes by Paul Mac and Armin van Buren! Seven […]
Authorities are thinking of introducing tougher measures to prevent petrol “drive-offs”, including pre-paying for all petrol or even introducing road spikes at service stations. The spikes would cost a lot to install, but you not only get all your petrol paid for, you also sell a hell of a lot more tyres. Petrol stations are […]
George W Bush is making a renewed effort to catch Osama bin Laden before leaving office. Come on, surely he doesn’t still believe bin Laden is real. George W Bush is making a renewed effort to catch Osama bin Laden before leaving office. Because, otherwise all he leaves history is an unwinnable war and a […]
Brokeback Mountain is being adapted into musical form. As if it wasn’t gay enough. / It just wasn’t gay enough. Because the one complaint that the homosexual lobby had with the film version was that you couldn’t sing along. Because the unspoken bond that develops between two strong silent types will sound just fabulous in […]
In Hornsby, fire rescue officers were called to the hospital to help remove 16 steel washers from a man’s penis. Ah, so that’s what washers are for. He’s obviously desperate for a screw. He had 16 steel washers removed from his penis. But he asked that they leave the rivets in his nutsack. / leave […]
The New Zealand cricket team have unveiled their latest secret weapon: wonderpants! Cricket is such a cool sport. The “micro-shine” trousers are believed to contain a patch of fabric which helps the Kiwis shine the ball. They’re pants with built-in swing! The special pants not only help with your swing, they’re also quite useful when […]
Auckland drivers have been caught using blow-up dolls, mannequins and dogs dressed as children to justify driving in transit lanes. Well? The laws only require cars to have three or more occupants – and now they’re getting all pernickety and saying they have to be human. In New Zealand, drivers are using blowup dolls to […]
The ACT government is considering banning fireworks. What? Next they’ll be banning X-rated porn and illicit drugs! It’s unCanberrian! Lucky they’re not banning drugs and porn, or our politicians would have nothing to do! From now on, fireworks in Canberra will be restricted to Question Time. It’s not a good idea to take away our […]