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Good News Week

The 3 million dollar camel (Good News Week 28/4/08: Perfect Match)

Dubai’s crown prince has paid a record US$2.7 million for the world’s most beautiful camel. It’s worth it for the humping. It may well be the most beautiful camel in the world, but it’s still a fuckin camel. Dubai’s crown prince has paid a record US$2.7 million for the world’s most beautiful camel. And the […]

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Good News Week

Climate change depression (Good News Week 28/4/08: Strange But True)

Australians are increasingly seeing their doctors for depression and anxiety caused by news about climate change. Remember, for every centimetre the sea levels rise, sixty-two species become extinct and nine hundred people go loopy. Rather than worrying about climate change and getting depressed, people should take positive action and kill themselves. Climate change can look […]

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Good News Week

Good Next Week (Good News Week 28/4/08: closing)

Tues, April 29 And on Tuesday, 238 years after Captain James Cook dropped his anchor in Botany Bay, several snorklers will find it. Jackie Kelly’s husband and other Liberal Party members involved in the fake election flyer scandal will do a listening tour of Sydney’s courts. In Sydney, disgraced Liberals will appear in court over […]

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Good News Week

National Slaughter Day – for toads! (Good News Week 21/4/08: monologue)

Nationals MP Shane Knuth wants to devote a day to ridding Queensland of the dreaded cane toad, called the Toad Day Out. Of course if it’s anything like the Big Day Out, attendees would be less likely to kill toads and more likely to lick them. Surely the best way to rid ourselves of cane […]

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Good News Week

Well, it’s Summit, Innit (Good News Week 21/4/08: monologue)

Ah, the 2020 Summit, or as I think of it, The Summit of All Fears. Where 1000 of Australia’s best and brightest made their way to Canberra so there’d be nothing to distract them. Who would have thought that so many of the nation’s brightest could combine to create something so dull? It was originally […]

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Good News Week

Aussie Chinese torch guards (Good News Week 21/4/08: monologue)

Hundreds of Chinese Australians are being asked to rally and defend the Olympic torch from pro-Tibetan protestors when the torch arrives in Canberra on Wednesday. That’s right, we’re going to have a good old-fashioned protest-off! Grab your popcorn. The Chinese Australians hope to protect the torch from pro-Tibetan protestors. They’re kind of anti-protest protestors. Unfortunately […]

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Good News Week

Snoop Mail-E-Mail (Good News Week 21/4/08: What’s the Story?)

The government’s wanting to protect us from cyberterrorists by giving companies the power to read employees’ email without consent. Although only if they employ terrorists. Or have some other reason. Well, I guess we’re all safe from terrorism now. Now the boss can read our email, at last we’ve won the War on Terror. There […]

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Good News Week

First female GG the last (Good News Week 21/4/08: Don’t Quote Me)

Well, Australia is going to have its first female Governor-General, Quentin Bryce. It was actually a bit of a slip-up, Kevin Rudd never suspected Quentin was a woman. / Kevin thought Quentin was a boy’s name. I don’t reckon this is such a big step forward as it’s been made out to be – we’ve […]

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Good News Week

Budget test for Nelson (Good News Week 21/4/08: Don’t Quote Me)

Liberal Party members say Brendan Nelson’s chances of remaining as Opposition Leader will rest on his performance in response to the May 13 budget. Come on Brendan, a really good showing and you could get your preferred Prime Minister rating up into the low teens! Liberal Party members say Brendan Nelson’s chances of remaining as […]

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Good News Week

Italian men aren’t allowed to touch their genitals (Good News Week 21/4/08: Dishing the Dirt)

Italy’s highest court has ruled that’s it’s a criminal offence for Italian men to touch their genitals in public. That should be only for the tourists. Italy’s highest court has ruled that’s it’s a criminal offence for Italian men to touch their genitals in public. The only exception is the publically-appointed Genitalissimo. And they’ve finally […]