The federal magistrate who issued the control order on Jack Thomas has described the order’s demand that he not contact Osama bin Laden as a bit “silly”. The order also bans him from contacting Hitler, Satan or Darth Vader. That’s so dumb! If they’d said he could contact bin Laden, we might find out where […]
Donald Rumsfeld has warned that the US is confronting “a new form of fascism”. A surprisingly honest assessment of his party there… / the Bush administration there. Rummy compared critics of the Bush Administration to Nazi appeasers who wished to negotiate with Adolf Hitler before World War 2. Not that anyone’s actually suggesting we negotiate […]
A new documentary reveals that mujahideen used to laugh at Osama bin Laden because he would jump and run away when he heard explosions. That’s why he hides out in a cave – those terrorists are all just so scary. They used to call him a “scaredy camel”. His group was nearly called “al Quaieeeek!” […]
Peter Costello has just turned 49. After tax, that’s about 31. Peter spent the day having his cake and eating it too. Peter’s birthday cake was a splendid affair. He even donated a tiny sliver for the underprivileged, before giving the rest to Rupert Murdoch. As a special treat, his wife dressed up as an […]
New Orleans has experienced a baby boom as a result of blackouts caused by Hurricane Katrina. Sometimes it takes a blackout to reignite the sparks. A lot of the amorousness was caused by random fumbling in the dark. “Is this a candle?” “No, baby… but you can blow it out!” Without TV and the internet, […]
– “Let the madness commence!” – Slow and steady wins the race… – Bush blows a whistle to announce the appointment of the new US Defence Minister. – Dick Cheney finally gets a turn in the bunny suit. – Flopsy Cottontail – the next governor of Texas. – Osama bin Laden really is the master […]
ASYLUM-SEEKER HOUSING IS TOPS Amanda Vanstone claims new accommodation at Villawood Detention Centre is better housing than many Australians enjoy. Yes – and they’re all indigenous people. / Which just goes to show how bad indigenous housing really is. “I mean, you’ve got security, you’ve got people to cook and clean for you; and just […]
Categories
Mel Cartman (The Glass House 9/8/06)
South Park‘s Cartman and Mel Gibson share identical views on Jews starting wars. There’s a simple explanation for this whole thing. When Mel gets drunk he likes to impersonate Cartman. It’s just that the media haven’t seized on the comments about his mum being a crackwhore. After being released on bail, Mel told the officers […]
South Australian Family First MP Dennis Hood has said that if the Government failed to introduce legislation to drug-test MPs, then he would. He’s got one vote already! Hood’s ploy is a cunning Catch 22. If any politicians vote against the bill, he can accuse them of being paranoid! And everyone knows that’s a sure […]
An American woman is suing her parents for $183,000 after slipping on their path and breaking her ankle. Lucky it wasn’t her good ankle. Imagine how much she’d be suing for if she’d died. She’s hoping that the $183,000 might be enough to buy herself a heart. Carriel Louah slipped on her parents’ icy path […]