German authorities are baffled after an entire rollercoaster was stolen from a parked truck. Police are on the lookout for a guy with a really bulky overcoat… Police are asking for people to come forward if they’ve seen any suspicious looking Luna Parks suddenly spring up in their area. You have to be this tall […]
When a German woman wasn’t able to pay for her petrol, she left behind her friend as a deposit. Well, it was bound to happen: new friends are less than a dollar twenty a litre! The friend had the last laugh though – the driver had left her with her four-cents-off voucher. She had a […]
The new boss of the troubled Immigration Department hires a $1000-an-hour personal motivator to help him do his job. Of course he needs a motivator; it’s such an immoral, cruel, child-hating job, no-one could just do it for the money… “Look, do you think it’s easy locking children up and sending mentally-ill people off to […]
Melburnians are spending $15,000 funding a radio play written by accused criminals to explore their drug and alcohol addictions. The participants each received $500 cash and as much booze as they could carry. The scheme is a way of building self-confidence and helping the addicts find employment. Because there’s no shortage of positions for playwrights! […]
2 CENTS FOR YOUR SOUL Under the new IR laws, workers have been asked to sign away penalty rates, leave loading and rest breaks for a hefty 2 cents per hour compensation. John Howard says they are contributing to “the general health of the economy”. Although, being only 2 cents, it’s mainly contributing to the […]
New research suggests that human beings and chimps may have interbred for four million years before finally separating genetically. Humans and chimps getting it on – that’s disgusting! Baboons are so much sexier… It’s their shiny blue inflatable arses that do it for me. Chimps and humans are said to have exchanged genes for up […]
Thanks to their exclusive deal with Channel Nine, miner celebrities Brant Webb and Todd Russell have passed up on opportunity to participate in Dancing With the Stars. Now that would’ve been worth seeing: “Next up, Brant Webb and Todd Russell with a dance step of their own invention, which they call The Crap in a […]
Two 26 year old Brits are hoping to turn a remote Fijian island into a tribal community, basing it on backpacking culture. And we all know there’s nothing more tribal than a bunch of British backpackers… The plan is to fund the island via 5000 online tribe members who then get voting and visiting rights […]
A local group of desperate housewives have hatched a cunning scheme: they get their hubbies to buy them jewellery which they then swap for cheap fakes, pocketing the change. Unfortunately their scheme came undone when one of them traded in their hubby’s BMW for a cardboard copy. The husband spotted the ruse when he got […]
A new board game has gone on sale based on the life of Chopper Read. Mochopperly! All the squares say “Go To Jail”… It’s a competetive game; every time you get sent to gaol, you get stabbed. Roll a six and you lose a toe. The Community Chest is covered in tattoos… One card says, […]