A new report has found that nearly two-thirds of Australians think they aren’t having as much fun as they did twenty years ago. So, some ways to bring the fun back into your life: Why not fingerpaint on your Porsche? Or, for even more fun, someone else’s! Work less and earn more: become a politician! […]
RUBBING NOSES IN WORK CHOICES Great news! The government’s decided to save our money rather than spending it on another round of Work Choices ads. They decided that another campaign would have the effect of “rubbing people’s noses in it”. And you don’t want your nose anywhere near shit like that… It’s not our noses […]
eBay are auctioning off ten political events for charity, including joining the PM for his annual cricket match. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Bodyline! (Might kill him, but it’s how he would want to go…) You can also bid for a lunch for six with Kim Beazley. If you’re lucky, he might even let […]
The Coalition and the ALP are falling over each other in the race to improve childcare. Peter Costello’s budget abolished caps on in-home childcare, while Kim Beazley promised some free crayons and an apple for playlunch. But no-one’s asking the children what they want. I did a quick survey of two year olds, asking what […]
A survey in industrialised countries has found different nationalities have different hopes for when they retire. The Germans want to play more sport, the French to do some gardening, and the Italians and Spaniards want to do nothing. A little boring, perhaps, but at least you don’t need much money to live out your dreams. […]
A foot fetishist has admitted he tried to kiss, fondle and lick over 70 New York women on the subway over the past three years. He said his motivation was “to make them laugh and smile and open to me” but that when her tried to “taste and touch them”, “some women had kicked me […]
Iran’s president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has repealed a ban on Iranian women attending sports stadiums. That’ll be great – particularly for the women’s events. The White House said that dropping the sexist law is further proof that Ahmadinejad is a dangerously unhinged fundamentalist and must be nuked at once. Ahmadinejad decided to drop the ban after […]
144 Dutch sheep are being used to advertise an online hotel reservation company via waterproof blankets. The sheep are thrilled; as one said, “It’s much better than that soggy old wool I used to get around in!” It’s an old idea – sheep have been advertising wool for ages. Branding’s come a long way since […]
Texan police are going undercover to arrest drunken patrons in bars, since public drunkenness laws still apply there. Now drunks have lost their wateringholes, pub owners are losing their businesses, and bouncers have no-one to beat the shit out of. And Texans are at a loss as to what to do with all the leftover […]
Costello brushes up on his schoolyard taunts. Costello loses again at thumb-wrestling. “Best out of three?” “How much for the little girl?” The new economics teacher seems like a bit of a creep. “Would you like a tax cut, little girl?” Costello selects another victim for the Altar of Blood. Costello selects a virgin for […]