Environmental groups are thinking of dropping terms like “global warming”, as they tend to drive right-wingers away. Instead, the term will be replaced with “threat to water-front property”.
Environmental groups are thinking of dropping terms like “global warming”, “carbon dioxide” and even “the environment”, instead hoping to walk around, flapping their mouths emptily. That way no-one will be able to tell them from the sceptics!
Environmental groups are thinking of dropping terms like “global warming”, “carbon dioxide” and even “the environment”, as they are just turning mainstream people away. Instead, they will only talk of ecological conservation as “like a happy meal for the whole world”.
They’re even thinking of dropping the term “environment”. It’s as obsolete as the actual environment!
Maybe if we don’t talk about global warming, it’ll disappear!
But I thought we’d already replaced the term “global warming” with “climate change”? I don’t know what was wrong with “the greenhouse effect”, but I’m a nostalgic like that.
From now on, environmentalists will be avoiding loaded terms like “global warming” and “climate change” and instead using terms like “whatever”.
And they’re also renaming “global warming sceptics” as “Earth-devouring monsters”.
Terms like “global warming” and “climate change” have acquired unwelcome emotional baggage, so from now on they’ll use the term “cute puppy slaughter”.
So as to avoid alienating American right-wingers, environmentalists are replacing the term “global warming” with the term “you’re wrong”.
ecoAmerica says that if we never use the term “global warming”, then we can’t have arguments about it. And that’s something on which we can all agree!
Instead of “global warming”, the firm suggests referring to “our deteriorating atmosphere”. Of course it is possible that people disagree with the theory of global warming, rather than just the choice of words.
I like it. It’s time to stop pussyfooting around and just get to the truth. Why call them “emissions targets” when they’re really “levels of toxic pollution”? Why call it “green coal” when it’s still “deadly coal”? And why call it a “minister for environment, heritage, and the arts” when it’s clearly actually a “party puppet mouthpiece driven by corporate lobbying”?
All that talk of “greenhouse gas” just creates greenhouse gas! / just creates… something. I’m not allowed to say what.
Environmental groups are thinking of dropping terms like “global warming”, as they don’t make the right impact on people. Instead, the correct term to be used will be “apocalypse of doom”. / “the end-times”. / “the great sadness”.
They’re even suggesting we replace the term “carbon dioxide” with “dirty fuels”, and the term “environment” with “happy magic wonderland of neverending joy”.
Every time someone says “I don’t believe in global warming”, a black balloon bursts.
By using terms such as “cash back”, “pollution reduction refund” and “saving money for a more prosperous future”, environment groups hope to take the focus off, y’know, the whole point. / off the, y’know, point.
So at the same time that fossil fuel companies and heavy polluters are trying to green their image, green groups are trying to put the emphasis on the capitalist benefits. Green products, brown products – now they’re all just a big sludgy grey in the middle.
So it’s easy to spot green products now – they’re the ones that make no claims to be green.
It’s all part of linguistic association. Apparently, when you say the words “global warming”, a large part of the community links it to lefties and gay marriages. And when you say “gay marriage”, a large part of the community just thinks of arsefucking. And when you say “arsefucking”, a large part of the community gets a guilty boner and has to go off and shoot something. / prove their masculinity by starting another war.
According to ecoAmerica’s president, a certain group of Americans think that “global warming” is a code word for progressive liberals, gay marriage and so on. So you’d think they’d want to stop it.
If we reduce our carbon emissions, it won’t be long till the gays are bashing babies to death with copies of Mao’s Little Red Book! / Das Kapital! I saw it on FOX News!
Many American fundamentalist Christians are pretty sure that renewable energy is that stuff that powers abortions by socialist gay Muslims.
But it’s all going to be useless unless the green lobby can convince the general public that renewable energy is actually just as polluting.
Hey, if polluting industries can pretend to be green, why can’t green industries pretend to be profitable?
And they’re going to stop talking about “saving the world” and focus on “saving your own arse”.
It’s about appealing to what matters to ordinary people. Rather than “global warming” or “climate change”, it should be called something like “barbie wrecker”, “shit weather”, or “destroyer of picnics”.
It’s about appealing to ordinary people. Rather than using the term “energy efficiency”, it might be more effective to talk about “not destroying the fucking planet, you stupid arsetard”.
Rather than “global warming”, it’s best to talk about “deteriorating atmosphere”. And instead of “Liberals” and “Labor”, it’s more accurate to talk about “generic two-faced politicians who actually don’t give a fuck”. / “useless bunch of conservatives who would rather be popular than make any actual lasting change”. / “lying back-stabbing egomaniacs who would rather have the world die around them than make any unpopular decisions”.
Environmental issues consistently rate near the bottom of public worry in US opinion polls. Hardly surprising when so much of the population believes that God will save them in the Rapture. / so many Americans are praying for Judgement Day.
Environmental issues consistently rate near the bottom of public worry in US opinion polls. Fundamentalist Republicans don’t want save the world – it’s all clogged up with foreigners.
It’s easy! It works the same as calling people defending their own country against invaders “insurgents” and “terrorists”!
It’s a bit like renaming “refugees” and “asylum seekers”, “boat people” and “illegals”.
Sure, I’m a global warming sceptic, but I’m scared the Earth will be killed by this planetary heating! Better switch to recyclable power before the frozen pole-cosies dissipate and cause the oceanic altitudes to amplify!
