A US craze is spreading to the rest of the world – eyebrow transplants. They look good anywhere! Get five!
Thank god! And here was I thinking that the coming depression we’re all about to plunge into was going to be filled with ugly eyebrows.
Thank god! We may be about to plunge into a world depression, the globe is about to be consumed in an all out war for oil and water, and we’re in the throes of violent climate change, but at least we won’t have to deal with all those ugly eyebrows!
At least while we’re in the middle of a global depression, we can put on a happy face.
At last, you can walk around with your preferred emotion permanently etched into your forehead!
It’s a great way of re-lowering what your facelift raised.
Excellent. I want mine under my eyes.
Of course eyebrow-shaping is old news in America. Most of those Hollywood stars’ eyebrows are as phony as the sentiments they’re expressing.
It can make even the most evil villain look kind and welcoming. Or the softest wuss look evil.
Finally, you can look like the crazy hypnotist you’ve always wanted to!
Clearly, the “crazy hypnotist” look is so hot right now!
The transplant involves planting hair follicles from the back of the head into tiny holes in the shape you desire. At long last that back-of-the-head hair will get its chance to shine!
Because some mornings you just look in the mirror and think, “You know what would look really good above my eyes? Back-of-the-head hair.”
The transplant involves planting hair follicles from the back of the head into tiny holes in the shape you desire. Preferably eye-brow shape.
And bald men are rushing in for the treatment, getting themselves a scalpful of eyebrows.
Because the hair is from the head, it grows much faster and needs trimming once or twice a week. It also goes bald.
Because the hair is from the head, it grows much faster than regular eyebrow hair, and needs constant trimming. If you’re lazy, you just end up with eyebrow dreadlocks. / browdreads.
Because the hair is from the head, it grows much faster and needs trimming once or twice a week. In fact it’s really only useful if you want eyebrows like John Howard. / Brad Garrett. / Bert from Sesame St. / Frankenstein’s monster.
The only side effect is that, because the hairs are taken from head-hair rather than eyebrow hair, they grow really quickly, and need regular trimming. Unless you‘re going for the Howard look. / Chewbacca look.
The implanted hair falls out after a month, and grows back from the new eyebrow-line in about 2 months. So, for about three months, patients have to wear eyebrow wigs. I say, serves them right.
The implanted hair falls out after a month, and grows back from the new eyebrow-line in about 2 months. So, it may be expensive and painful, and it may require you to go bald at the back of your head, and sure, you have to trim your eyebrows for the rest of your life – but at least the procedure takes three months!
The transplanted hair falls out after a month but grows back after two. In the intervening month you just have to stay inside with your blinds closed.
The transplanted hair falls out after a month but grows back after two. In the intervening month you just have to look like the fucking freak you really are.
It’s fantastic! For an enormous amount of money and a lot of pain, you can have eyebrows that grow really quickly and need lots of extra maintenance!
Because there’s nothing more attractive than brows you can comb. / plait. / coiff.
The technology is also handy for men who can’t grow the handlebar moustache they so desperately need for that porn audition.
But this technology opens up a whole new world of body modification – hairy tatts! YES!
During the procedure, the surgeon has to implant about 350 individual hairs into the new eyebrow shape. Even more if you want the “rollercoaster” look. / want a Frida Kahlo.
Many of the transplants are being requested by people who’ve already had lots of facelifts. Which makes sense: their eyebrows are already at the back of their head.
They’re hoping the technology will be able to help the starving millions in Africa have better eyebrows. / will be able to help wipe out Third-World hunger-for-good-looking-eyebrows.
Man, I love watching a girl shave her eyebrows! It’s HOTT!
It’s a perfect solution if you’ve never been able to raise one eyebrow. (raise one eyebrow, keep raised.) Although not if you ever want to lower it again. (look around.)
Of course the worst part is continually having to shave off your old eyebrows.
A warning, though: don’t get your eyebrows redone too often. If you ever find yourself without a shaver you could end up mistaken for a gorilla.
So now if you’ve got the cash to spare you can have fresh eyebrows for every moodswing!
