The ACT is banning fireworks. Now if you’re in Canberra and you want a bang, you’ll have to rely on porn.
There are now so many restrictions, they’re thinking of renaming it Can’tberra.
It’s like there’s virtually no reason for pyromaniacs to run for Parliament. / But now that there’s no incentives for pyromaniacs to get elected, Parliament will end up just being porn addicts on drugs.
It’s all part of the city’s quest to become the least interesting place on earth.
All the fireworks will be confined to the Liberal Party room.
People will now have to celebrate by all standing around and saying “bang”.
So now fireworks are only legal in the Northern Territory on July 1. So who’s up for a massive party at Jabiluka?
The fireworks will all be stockpiled at Parliament House. So now, if a terrorist ever attacks our capital, it’ll have a built-in celebration! / it’ll look ever so beautiful.
Lucky they’re not banning drugs and porn, or our politicians would have nothing to do…
The only people blowing anything up in Canberra nowadays will be terrorists.
The ACT’s Chief Minister says it’ll be good to finally be able to tell apart the terrorists from the drunk students.
Six dogs died and 70 ran away frightened as a result of fireworks incidents last year. They really should’ve withdrawn that line of Pal with fireworks.
Canberrans will now have to come with entirely new ways of frightening dogs.
But now what will they use to frighten dogs? Porn?
Ever tried to blow up someone’s letterbox with porn? It just doesn’t work. (Unless their wife gets to it first.)
But what will they do with all the unexploded fireworks in Canberra? To help solve the problem, they’re enlisting the help of a Mr Fawkes…
Now people have to resort to blowing up letterboxes with regular explosives. Man, the government takes the fun out of everything.
So now fireworks are only legal in the Northern Territory on one single day. If you want to blow things up all year round, you’ll just have to join the army.
The Government had to act – attendance at their annual skyshow spectacular had been appalling.
It’s not a good idea to take away our pollies’ fireworks. It’s just going to make them more eager to detonate other things. / It’s just going to make them want to use all those cool exploding things they have in the Army.
And in one fell swoop, Canberra wipes out tourism.
