A Swiss daredevil has flown at over 250k per hour using a home-made jet-glider. He’s like a real-life superhero! Only he can’t carry anything and criminals hear him coming from miles away.
He’s like a real-life superhero – for all crimes committed in his flightpath.
He’s like a real-life superhero! If you’re committing some sort of airbound crime in his direct vicinity, he sorta just aims and hopes he hits you.
It’s amazing what you can do with cardboard boxes, elastic bands, and some good old-fashioned elbow grease. / imagination. / initiative.
His day-job is a pilot. He’s actually been building the machine gradually by sneaking little bits of planes home in his briefcase.
What’s even better is he’s arrived in it from the future.
Look! Up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No – it’s Superdickhead!
The same guy has sky-surfed off a hot-air-balloon, flown in the air holding onto the wings of two bi-planes, and surfed on the top of a fountain. This man clearly has too much time on his hands. / has a really crappy life, and is desperate to end it.
Unfortunately, it can’t take off by itself, it needs to be carried up into the air by a plane. Oh, and it can’t land either, it has to descend by parachute. So, essentially, what this guy has made is a paperweight with wings.
On his website, he claims he is getting “ever closer to bird flight”. He’s obviously never seen a real bird fly – the machine is equipped with jets, doesn’t flap, and there’s nowhere for the mother bird to regurgitate its worms into.
On his website, he claims he is getting “ever closer to bird flight”. Yes, the flight of the Jet-sparrow, a very rare bird that is made of fibreglass, eats petrol, is able to carry a human, and shits flames.
On his website, he claims he is getting “ever closer to bird flight”. Well, he’s at least getting close to bird brained flight.
On his website, he claims he is getting “ever closer to bird flight”. He’s really looking forward to taking a flying crap.
Apparently he’s just trying to impress some bird.
The main problem for him is that he still needs to jump from a flying plane. And most airlines refuse to let him take his 2.4 metre rocket-wing as carry-on luggage.
The machine lets him travel at about 300 kmph for about 5 minutes, so yes, at this stage it’s essentially useless.
Not only is it noisier, heavier and much more expensive than a hang glider, but it totally guzzles up precious fossil fuels! It’s sure to be a hit in the US.
Of course the jet-glider does create a lot of greenhouse gas, but he says he’ll be able to offset that by using his super powers in some fashion.
The man has now given up. He lost all motivation once he found out about the invention of hang-gliders. (They’re so much quieter!)
He based the design on an Action Man figure he used to have as a boy. Next, he plans to build a fully-functioning Castle Grayskull.
He’s now working on a hovercar and a fully-functional light saber.
He calls himself FusionMan, while others have dubbed him RocketMan. And once again the hardest battle for a superhero is getting the name right.
He calls himself “FusionMan”, not realising the difference between burning fuel and actual fusion. Perhaps he should be called “ConFusionMan”. Oh ho ho.
“It totally rocks! And best of all, the only way you can land it is by crashing it! Fully sick mate!”
On his website, he claims he is getting “ever closer to bird flight”. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’ve never seen a bird trying to fly strapped to a 2.4 metre fibreglass jetpack. If this guy wants to do it properly, he needs to be flying with nothing but a buncha feathers and hollow bones, and powered only by worms.
Elton John was planning to re-record his classic song “Rocket Man” for the inventor, but reconsidered once he was told that this was actually a genuine rocket-man, and not just a fellow cocaine junkie.
