In order to curb one of the world’s highest road tolls, dangerous drivers in Iran are being sentenced to 74 lashes. It’s the 74th lash that always changes behaviour. / 73 just wasn’t doing it.
The roads are a deathtrap. Bad drivers can be sentenced to jail or the lash, and really bad drivers are sentenced to just keep driving.
Drivers still don’t have to wear seat-belts though. That would be cruel.
However, Iranian drivers don’t have to wear seatbelts, and motorcyclists don’t have to wear helmets. Who’s really living in a totalitarian state?
Really bad drivers are sentenced to a flogging while pulling the flogman around in a little cart.
Really bad drivers are going to be flogged until they crash.
Drivers who commit dangerous acts will get flogged, and parking violators will lose a hand. / Drivers who commit dangerous acts will get flogged, parking violators get locked up, and drivers who flip you the bird in traffic will lose a hand.
Most of the accidents are due to dilapidated vehicles, reckless driving, or sudden twinges of pain from flog-welts.
Their vehicles will also be seized for a week, but they can still get home by fleeing in agony.
The guilty drivers will also have their vehicles seized for a week. Not that they’re able to sit down anyway.
The guilty drivers will also have their vehicles seized for a week. Not that it’s easy to drive with a back full of flog-welts. You keep coagulating to the seat, and when you lean forward you can feel all your back-scabs ripping off. It’s not nice.
Floggings may sound harsh, but it’s better than being sentenced to death. Or driving in Iran.
Being flogged in Iran is actually safer than driving a car there.
And, for added irony, they flog you with a seatbelt.
There’s about 20,000 deaths on Iran’s roads every year, and just not enough floggings.
There’s about 20,000 road-related-deaths every year in Iran, and just not enough flogging-related ones.
Some cars in Iran now come with inbuilt retractable flogbelts.
And if your dangerous driving was due to mechanical failure, they beat up your car.
I don’t know that flogging’s such a good idea. When you whip a horse, doesn’t it go faster?
But you should see the road toll in Iraq. Of course, much of it is self-inflicted. KABOOOM!
Iranian drivers hate getting pulled over by the Bruise Bus…
In Iran, drivers are scared of the Bruise Bus. And they’re terrified of any van marked “Mr Whippy”.
In Iran, it’s not the tinkling of a rusty old tune, but the sound of screaming, that announces the Whippy van.
In Iran, only masochists go running to the Whippy van.
They’ve gone for floggings because the previous punishment of cutting off bad drivers’ hands just wasn’t improving their driving.
If they catch you drink-driving in Iran you really are a bloody idiot.
They’re publicising it with an ad campaign: if you drink and drive, we’ll make you a bloody idiot. / you’re a floggy idiot. / you’re a bloody infidel. / you’re a bloody welt-covered infidel with no car.
Well, as if there weren’t enough reasons to attack Iran, they also punish bad driving!
