The government is investigating different strategies to combat obesity, including the introduction of a “fruit and vegetables rebate”. Which is a great idea, but turns making a fruit-salad into a fiscal nightmare. / into an accountant’s wet-dream.
Now, when someone makes a fruit-salad, it can take a team of accountants weeks to untangle the fiscal ramifications. And let’s not even start on the economics of coleslaw.
Medical experts suggest a tax rebate for all fresh fruit and vegetables. And perhaps if we eat up all our sprouts we could be given a medal.
Of course, if your fruit’s in the black, it’s probably best to throw it out.
And no, tiny fruit made out of marzipan does not count.
It’s a very sensible plan. After all, healthy eating Australians will end up paying more tax in the long run by staying alive.
But we already have a rebate on healthy food – the aged pension.
If the plan goes through, buying a banana could be as simple as paying for it, getting a tax invoice, and then filling out Form 7C-stroke-22. That’s the orange form. Though for oranges, use the green form.
The plan will also apply to juices, although you’ll have to keep the rebate as a liquid asset.
The Australian National University’s Professor Telford says that to encourage people to buy fresh fruits and vegies, we need to lower their cost. Or we could just deep-fry them and sprinkle them with sugar. / fry them with secret herbs and spices. / cover them in lard and fry the living fuck out of them. / add more MSG.
An ANU professor says people need tax rebates to encourage them to eat fruit and vegies, since obviously “living longer” and “not having coronaries” is insufficient incentive.
The Australian National University’s Professor Telford says that no-one’s buying fresh fruit and vegies because of cost, but that’s really not true. It’s because they don’t come with a large fries and coke. / because there’s no drive-thru. / because you can’t get them in an upsized meal-deal combo deluxe.
I’m all for getting a rebate on fruit and veg, so long as I can deep-fry it later.
I’m definitely in favour of getting any rebates going. They taste great covered in sugar. / Then I can spend it on proper food.
Perhaps we can also get rebates on looking both ways before crossing the road and wearing our seatbelts.
Tax breaks for healthy food? Kerry Packer must be rolling in his grave.
People should be encouraged to eat healthily whenever possible. Frankly I’m sick of looking at all your wobbly lard-arses.
One alternative is for the government to regulate foods’ fat-content. But first, perhaps they could regulate the fat content of these lobbyists’ BRAINS.
Diabetes Australia’s national policy manager wants more government intervention into what we can or can’t eat. But diabetics are just jealous coz they can’t eat all the yummy things we can eat! Nyah nyah nye-nyaah nyaaaaaaaah! / Mmm, these doughnuts are delicious. Another cheeseburger? Gosh, why not.
Of course, once we can get a tax rebate for vegetables, there’s certain to be a massive rise in low-income families with members who fall into sudden unexplainable comas.
There’s already a tax rebate for vegetables – the carer’s allowance.
At least now we’ll get a rebate for Wayne Swan.
The obese say that they should get a tax break, as they’re saving the nation millions in pension-money by dying.
They’re saying the government should intervene more in what we choose to eat. What is this, China? The Chinese government only allow their people to eat one kind of food. Every night, every day, all they’re allowed to eat is Chinese.
