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Good News Week

Graffiti Tourists (GNW 6/7/09: What’s the Story?)

A Sydney-based graffiti crew have been jailed for defacing trains in London after having graffitied in Australia, Japan, Spain, Italy and Germany. And they say graffiti will get you nowhere! / vandalism won’t get you far!

Some people tour the world to see the wonders of the world – and some go to tag the shit out of em.

But who HASN’T wanted to travel to some foreign land, walk up to an ancient piece of architecture, and spraypaint a cock and balls on it?

The gang of six have created over $400,000 worth of damage. But international travel ain’t cheap.

They say it’s worth the jail time to have been able to see such amazing sights as the Pyramids, Stone Henge, and the Taj Mahahl, and totally tag the living shit out of them.

The gang says that, at the time, things like cave-paintings and Stonehenge were acts of vandalism too. All they’d really wanted to do was create a few more Wonders of the World for their grandchildren. Awwwww.

At least it gives something for small-scale taggers to aim for.

Hey, you’ve got to do something to pass the time on a Contiki tour.

Well when your artworks are on the side of trains, it’s much cheaper to create a new exhibition in each country.

They should’ve quit while they were ahead. By painting on trains, they had the perfect travelling exhibition.

That’s what happens when you vandalise trains for a living – you never know where you’ll end up.

Vandalising trains – it may not seem glamorous, but at least you get to travel.

The cops would have caught them before now, but they just couldn’t afford the air fares.

These guys are going to be given jail terms for painting their names on walls. But if they’d killed a bunch of Iraqis, they’d be given a medal…

Of course the graffiti was one thing, but what was worse was the subliminal advertising they had to plant to pay for the trip.

So Sydney’s walls aren’t good enough to vandalise, eh? Throw away the key!

Clearly, spraying your name on trains pays a lot better than it used to.

Well how else were they going to get their work globally recognised? It’s not that easy to do a world tour with a bunch of trains that don’t belong to you.

Since they graffiti trains, it’s cheaper to tour the artists than the artwork.

Of course they have to paint fresh trains in each country. It’s far less expensive than touring their masterpieces.

It was about time international crime syndicates got into the non-profit arena.

Typical poms. We develop some international-standard artists and they lock them up.

The gang has learnt their lesson. Next time they paint something, they’ll make sure they’re wearing berets. / make sure they drag it inside a studio first.

I tried to buy some of their tour merchandise, but I had difficulty fitting it on the train home. Well, it WAS the train home.

After questioning, police have released all of their roadies.

Unfortunately it was a real bummer for everyone who had tickets to their American leg.

By Wok and Mat

Warwick Holt and Mat Blackwell are long-time writing partners, who created the mega-award winning web series Bruce, and wrote loads of jokes for TV shows including Good News Week, The Sideshow and The Glass House. Several years of their raw material for those shows is posted right here on this blog.

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