Heath Ledger has attacked actors who use their fame to advertise products for cash. In an impassioned outburst, Heath said “I’m not someone who wants to go out and sell effing Tag Heuer watches and L’Oreal and all that stupid fashion shit… Not to say that Tag Heuer don’t make great watches, because they do. In fact I’m wearing one right now… you can see it here next to my silky smooth hands, courtesy of L’Oreal Hand Creams! Mmm-mm!”
Ledger has joined Russell Crowe in attacking image-conscious actors. Though he stopped short of throwing phones at them.
Rusty’s another actor who criticises big name stars for taking the advertising money and running, specifically citing Robert De Niro’s American Express ads. “It’s not the first time he’s disappointed me,” said Crowe. “Apparently he wasn’t really a Taxi Driver either.”
“I don’t use my celebrity to make a living,” said Russell. “I hit people.”
Ledger disapproves of actors using their names and image to make money. From now on he’s going to wear a bag over his head in all movies, and will only be referred to as “Mr. X”.
“Using our celebrity to make money is offensive. From now on, I’m only being paid in cockle shells.”
Whores everywhere are dismayed. “We’re not like actors! We’re the real deal!”
Calling actors whores is not necessarily an insult – good whores are excellent actors. For instance they can shout “I’m coming!” even when they aren’t. But don’t worry, I’m sure she wasn’t acting for you, Dave.
“It’s whoring ourselves for millions of dollars. You’ll never catch me doing that.” His next film, for which he was paid millions of dollars, is out now. “Everyone should see it, it’s great. Wicked sex scenes.”
Heath says he doesn’t care about his image. That’s obviously true, since his image has plummeted thanks to the outburst…
“I absolutely refuse to do ads. I’m focusing purely on films, like my new one “Lords of Dogtown”, which is well worth seeing. In fact if you see it in the next twenty minutes, I’ll throw in a free set of steak knives!”
Heath has recently come under fire himself for peeling and eating an orange during an interview. “They’re delicious, and jam-packed with Vitamin C! Buy a bag today!”
Health realised that his name was helping advertise films he was in. He immediately called a press conference to berate himself about his rampant hypocrisy, and called for a boycott of all of his films.
Heath Ledger doesn’t want to be thought of as image-conscious. And he’ll do anything to preserve that image…
Acting shouldn’t be about flogging products, it should be about caring, and sharing, and making the world a better place. Or, in Heath’s case, impersonating skateboarders.
Acting shouldn’t be about flogging products. It should be about cocaine and limousines.
