The newest fashion trend? Hobo chic! It’s like grunge, but smeared with crap!
One designer says sometimes he sees a homeless personal “and they’ll just look so good. Or you see a little old lady and she looks awesome ‘cause she’s got something going on, you know?” Yeah, I know. She’s got poverty going on, you heartless creep.
The best thing about basing designs on the homeless is that they never chase you for royalties.
That explains the signs I’ve been seeing lately: “Will Design High-End Fashion For Food”.
Many of the homeless have now gotten jobs in design houses, and then, finally able to afford new clothes, were fired.
The designers say they’re helping the homeless. It’s really upping the value of their piss-stained threads.
Looking forward to the pre-pissed-on range. / new range of ready-to-piss-ins.
Squeegees are the new accessories of choice.
All the fashions are modelled on a stray catwalk. / alleycatwalk.
Now, it’s tres cool to mutter incomprehensibly while you piss yourself in the street, daahling.
Pissing yourself in the street has never been so popular.
These designers just love the homeless look. I’m just not sure if it’s the piss, the vomit, or just the look of hopeless despair in their eyes.
But with ripped and threadbare clothing being de rigueur, real homeless people will now have to make do with silk and satin.
Fortunately it means that anyone can be fashionable, just by knocking over a Brotherhood bin.
Fashionistas say the main problem with homeless people is that they are often seen wearing the same outfit – so embarrassing!
Of course accessories are also cheap – all you really need is a bottle and a few random tufts of hair.
The fashion industry love the homeless look. It’s got all the impractical discomfort of high-fashion, and yet people actually wear it!
The designers say that, if they lost their mansions and yachts and chalets, they’d probably really LOVE being homeless. / being homeless would be just soooo awesome.
The designers insist that it’s not such a big deal to be homeless. You can just sleep in your yacht.
Sure, you can wear the clothes, but the only way to get that awesome cloud of flies is to actually shit yourself.
Of course, actual homeless people aren’t offended at all. It’s the one time when they’re in fashion! / they can afford to wear the latest styles!
Shit-stains are the new black! Or is it blood? When a stain is that old it’s so hard to tell.
There’s never been a better reason to turf fashion designers out into the street. They can live the dream!
Homeless people have suggested that they’d be very willing to part with their elegant designer garments for a HOME.
Of course, no-one has yet seen the new fashions, because, as we all know, homeless people are totally invisible.
