Unfortunately, it’s not as tasty as it sounds.
India’s Hindu nationalist movement has created a new soft drink made from cow urine. I doubt it’ll be popular. I know if I drank cow urine, I’d want to get pissed.
Unfortunately, the urine does not get you pissed.
I mean, who hasn’t wished there was some product on the market that could quench your thirst for cow urine?
It’s bladder-fresh!
It’s the perfect drink to serve with pigshit.
Not only is cow piss a delicious drink, but without it, cows would burst.
Ah, it’s the perfect drink to refresh you on a hot Indian summer day. And, if you want it warm, you can drink it straight from the cow.
Not only is it delicious, but it stinks like piss!
Perfect if you want a drink with that “just passed through a cow’s bladder” freshness.
It’s like iced tea, except more like cow’s piss.
Perfect for those dinner parties where you just can’t decide what to serve to really set off the goat-vomit.
What could be more refreshing than waste from an ungulate’s bladder? Mmm, makes the mouth water.
It’s actually really good for you. And gives you that “mouth-coated-with-urine” freshness burst.
And it’s perfect as a mouthwash. You can barely smell the gingivitis over the acrid stench of piss!
The unique selling point is that it’s going to be very healthy. Though if you want something even healthier, just get a cow to piss down your throat.
The movement is confident their drink, made mostly of cow urine mixed with a few herbs, will compete strongly with major US brands. After all, it may not be tasty, cold or refreshing, but it does have low levels of sugar.
Pepsi and Coke are worried. India is one of their biggest markets, but allegations that their drinks contain dangerous levels of pesticide continue to bug them. Which they tried to counteract with pesticide. You can see how these things spiral out of control.
To fight back, Coke is planning to make their product taste even more like cow’s piss.
And you can mix it with Red Bull to help mask the flavour of the Red Bull.
So now you know what’s in Red Bull.
Funny, it tastes just like Red Bull.
It’s still better than the bullshit we usually drink.
But as opposed to Coke and Pepsi, at least it’s not filled with bullshit.
They reckon they’re going to make a drink out of cow urine, but I reckon it’s bullshit.
The group say their cow urine soft drink is completely free of bullshit. They use that for ice cream. / That’s a totally different flavour.
And if you like your piss with milk, the udders are right there.
Mix it with milk and it tastes just like steak!
Mix with milk and cowpats to experience life as a paddock.
The group say they use no artificial bullshit. 100% natural.
The group have been promoting cow urine as a cure for ailments ranger from liver disease to obesity and cancer since 2001. Prior to that they thought it was just disgusting.
The group say cow urine can cure everything from liver disease to obesity to cancer, though they are yet to find a cure for pissmouth.
Although be careful, there’s nothing worse than a urinary tract infection in your throat.
Of course the cow urine has been heavily processed. Four whole stomachs.
The drink was first discovered when a cow was dry of milk and they decided to pull the udder one.
Hindus revere cows and forbid their slaughter. Because if you kill them, whose urine will you drink then?
Cow dung and urine is also used to purify those on the bottom rungs of the Hindu caste system. Wash off all that nasty soap and shampoo.
Ah, nothing purifies like washing in piss.
It should be popular amongst lower caste Hindus who consume cow urine as a purifier. I doubt Coke can claim any purifying properties.
Indian Hindus from lower castes often consume cow urine and dung to purify themselves. That ought to make them less untouchable! / It’s either eat the cowpats or be an untouchable.
Indian Hindus from lower castes often consume cow urine and dung to purify themselves. Where do I sign up?
The Hindu nationalist group Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh was last year accused of killing 67 Christians, although to be fair they did leave their cows untouched.
The Hindu nationalist group Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh was last year accused of killing 67 Christians, and running off with their cowpiss.
