A British school has been criticised for sending kids to isolation cells that a father described as “like Guantanamo Bay”. Well? It is a detention centre.
A British school has been criticised for sending kids to isolation cells that a father described as “like Guantanamo Bay”. And, as an extra torture, the kids are sent home every night to spend time with their families. NOOOOOO!!!!!
Oh yeah, it’s just like Guantanamo Bay… the kid’s there indefinitely, pending a Supreme Court decision…
Although it’s only superficially like Guantanamo Bay. After all, he was allowed to leave. / After all, he was guilty.
Turns out the Americans only set up Guantanamo Bay because they were no longer allowed to give the strap.
To be fair, the kid did let down some bike tyres, and you need strong punishment in the War on Tyre.
The cells are called “individual study rooms”. And you should see the “electrical learning prod”! / the “encouragement electrodes”! / should see the kiddies learn once the teachers let loose the “wisdom dogs”!
To further help the children learn, they hang them from “encouragement straps”, and beat them with “learning batons”!
They school call the cells “individual study rooms”. Where they can be studied as individuals.
Children are ordered to sit for extended periods under a spotlight facing a wall in a room painted totally black. They’re only let go if they squeal on the ringleader.
Children are ordered to sit for extended periods under a spotlight facing a wall in a room painted totally black. And if that doesn’t sufficiently crush their spirits, they’re forced to do the geography test. / they’re given a maths test.
Children are ordered to sit for extended periods under a spotlight facing a wall in a room painted totally black. That’s not actually part of the punishment – the school’s interior decorator was Yoko Ono. / the principal’s just totally into minimalist interior design.
Children are ordered to sit for extended periods under a spotlight facing a wall in a room painted totally black. Still, the kids’d rather be there than learning their times tables.
Sure, it’s nasty, but it’s not as bad as the Study Cage.
That’s the last time he’ll plot the overthrow of Western civilisation during phys ed.
And if the kids are good, they can have a go at the water-boarding!
The school said the father’s comparisons to Guantanamo Bay were ridiculous and over-the-top, and that they’d be halving the boy’s rations for the next month.
A father whose son was ordered to spend a day in one of the rooms threatened to remove the boy from the school. So the principal beat him to death with a coathanger.
A father whose son was ordered to spend a day in one of the rooms threatened to remove the boy from the school. But then he realised he might have to spend time with his own child, so he quickly backed down.
A father whose son was ordered to spend a day in one of the rooms threatened to remove the boy from the school. But, once the principal had explained to the father that school is actually a form of imprisonment, learning is a form of brainwashing, and that the entire schooling system is little more than a series of concentration camps for children set up to enable the parents to slave away as tiny replaceable gears in the ever-grinding machine of Capitalism, he was like “oh, okay”. / he was fine with it. / the punishment seemed quite mild.
But it’s a reasonable punishment for someone who throws a paper plane. They could cause a paper September 11!
The kid was lucky he didn’t get detention – it’s behind razor wire. / – no-one ever comes back…
At this school, when they play poison ball in PE, not everyone survives…
